November Once again – 4 years later

Mishelle Leave a comment

*Been putting off writing something post worthy.  November arrived, and I had NOTHING.  No stories brewing, no ideas of what to write. A big ole zilch egg!

As I logged into my word press account, it had a notification pop up.  How about that, I have had this account for four years. Don’t bother going back to look at those really old entries, because they were purged while I sat and waited to figure out just what I wanted to use this space for.  Last year I came back to participate in NaNoWriMo once again, in ho/pes that I could actually compete and reach that goal of 50,000 words.  Guess what, in case you have not read this blog before, I did achieve that goal. Felt quite good to accomplish that, but with the work that I did, well that is another “story all together.”  Nanowrimo is all about the quantity of words, not the quality and I will leave it at that.

This year, I really wanted to give it a try again. But I guess I just don’t have it in me to write.  Then this brings me to another problem I am dealing with. NaNoWriMo is what had originally brought me into trying to write something that would amass into a real story of my very own.  The idea of being a writer has always been in my head, even from the time I was just ten years old.  Last year, I really struggled and I feel like I had come to the realization that I am just not a storyteller.

Then what kind of writer am i?  That’s when I have just slowly and painfully come to the realization that I am not a writer. Sure, I journal, but those words are for me. And they are not words worthy of sharing with anyone. They words that help me process the rambling thoughts swirling around in my mind. Sometimes it can make sense, but probably they only make sense to me. However I will be frank with you, sometimes those words don’t make any sense to me what so ever.

After all this time has passed, I am coming to the finalized thought, that all along this was just some sort of pipe dream I had held on to, for a really long time, but one I just need to release.  To finally let go of this delusional thinking, and just let it be what it is.  I’m not a writer, and that is a good thing that I have never referred to myself as one. Then I would not be a liar.

They say that if you work hard, put forth the effort you can make your dreams come true. Maybe I am just too lazy to put forth the effort, or I just don’t work hard enough for it. But I have let loose of having any dreams years ago.  Just like releasing balloons, I opened my hand up and let it fly away.

Does this mean that I will never participate in NaNoWriMo again? That is a rather good question.  Since I obviously have issues with committing and absolutes, I don’t think that I can walk away from NaNoWriMo completely and say that I will never try it again.  There will be another one next year, and along with that another opportunity to compete.  This year, being already more than a week behind, I know that there is just no way that I could amass the amount of words to catch up to the word count I should already been at if I had been working at this all along the way. Certainly I can work at trying to write something to gain more word volume, but then I am also feeling that there just is no point right now.

So for now, I am laying to rest the 2018 NaNoWriMo year as a fail. Or maybe the less harmful way of saying I’m just not a participant this year.  OH that does put a twinge in my heart, and is bringing me close to tears. But reality is, I am just not good enough.

I spew forth words here on this blog, I know I make many spelling and grammatical errors that someone who is claiming to be a writer should not make.  I don’t take the time to edit my entries. I open up my browser, log in and just write. Then with a quick once over to make sure that at least the title has some meaning and puts forth understanding to convey my words  – I just hit publish.  Then I don’t look back.  Once those words are out there, then I have to let them be. If I stop long enough to really digest what I have written the fear and self doubt with kick in, and I will hit delete just as easily as I had hit publish moments ago.

For now, I will leave this blog along as well. Maybe I am done even writing on this blog. I have not decided. In order to not do anything rash, I’ll just hit publish, and open my hand releasing these words out there.

 

Ted Talk – Isolation is the dream killer

Mishelle 1 Comment

Sometimes I come across a video on youtube that just really strikes a chord with me.  The tune is so strong, that I need to sing it out into the universe and share it.  Alright, I won’t sing, but I will tell you about this video today.

Isolation is the dream killer, not your attitude

By:  Barbara Sher | TEDxPrague Published Jan 6, 2016

Now if I was really tech savvy, it would be embedded into this blog instead of just a link. But I am subject to the limitations of wordpress in the browser. This format only allows me to insert a link.

May I suggest take a moment and listen to this TED talk.  Do you have a dream? But there are things that are getting in the way?  Have you told anyone about it?  That just might be what is keeping you from making that dream into a reality.  Going to say that isolation is a real thing, and I know it has had an affect on my thought processing lately.

Now I can not explain this concept, it is not mine to fully summarize. Even though I did need to give you something to get you interested in having a listen. Otherwise you would just scroll on through this blog entry, and move on to the next surfing stop.

 

Show Shenanigans

Mishelle 1 Comment

There was one bit of shenanigans that really did shake me up during the show. I lost my keys. I did not realize this until the next morning.  A group of us had gone in my car to get a bite, and upon returning to the hotel I had only ventured around two locations before I had called it a night. The next morning my keys were no where in my room. I had called the front desk and no keys were found. I went to my car to see if I had left them in the car. (I keep a valet key, but come to find out this key does not do what it should) . I found the door left open because the seatbelt was in the way. The arm rest of my car was rifled through, and the contents strewn about.  I lost all composure when I found that someone had been in my car.

I went back to the front desk to let them know a description of my keys.  The manager so kindly said she would check the cameras to see about someone going through my things. I was wrecked. I am always very diligent in locking my car. Could I have made a mistake? Suppose that is possible and I can’t rule that possibility out. But it just doesn’t seem quite right.  A couple of hours later, I thought I’d just go to the front desk to see if there was any update,  I planned on them telling me no there was nothing but that was not what had happened.  My keys were located in the hallway (the one I had been up and down a couple times) The security footage showed me at the car upon returning, and the lights blinking as if I had locked the car.  No one was seen getting into my car and messing with it.  The relief was huge that feel over me. I felt some security that my car wasn’t messed with and I wouldn’t have to worry about someone trying to “reclaim” my car after I put my belongings in it.

Though, all day long, holding on to my keys clipped now around my neck, I still didn’t understand how the arm rest contents were messed with. I didn’t have it open when we returned from dinner.  Both my side passenger and I used that arm rest. Wasn’t until the show was winding down did I decide to go back to my car and see if it would start.  If I was going to need a jump I wanted to make sure to ask before everyone was setting out to leave.  Thankfully my car started right up, but then I noticed the odd thing.  There is a cover over the lighter, a cover that I never close!  Mostly don’t close it because in that jack is a blue tooth fm transmitter.  I have the phone that removed the headphone jack, so I was glad to find one that would connect via bluetooth and transmit on fm radio.  That transmitter was missing, so was the OEM apple cable I used to charge my phone. (I always use good cables and plugs for charging phone batteries so that I can get all the use I can.  Then I realized that the car charger with micro usb, and also the charger with the lightning connecter were the two chargers taken from my arm rest.  All in all that is a lot of  items to replace.  I at least must get a proper phone charger, because I am not getting stuck some where with a dead phone!

Suppose that some one might say, “Then what is the big deal, its just a charger?!”  Sure, they could have vandalized my car, stolen my car  or who knows what else.  Just the idea that someone, unknown, went through things in my car feels weird.  Then to take items from me, it’s just one more thing. I was on a very strict pen show budget, and I stayed with in my means.  I also had just paid out a lot of money to replace the transmission in my car. So thanks for not taking off with my car and wrecking that.  However, having a quality phone charger purchased wasn’t in the plan.  Just the principle of the idea that now that I have to replace something.  Again, things could have been a heck of a lot worse, just that it hasn’t happened to me before.

Then when I got home, and unloaded everything that I had packed with me. The one thing I can not find is my pocket traveler’s notebook.  I keep a todo list in one insert, and the other is just a little bit of a journal. but in that journal is a couple of years of random entry points.  I didn’t have overly personal stuff in there, but the thought that now someone out there has yet another thing of mine just irks me.  I have spent all week trying to locate that notebook, but alas I think its completely gone.  I still have fond memories of the show, and that will out weight all this. But right now, I just can’t seem to let some of this go.  The chargers, the fm/bluetooth transmitter can be replaced eventually. The notebook can not be replaced, and that’s just a bummer.

 

 

Colorado Pen Show 2018

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Back from the Pen show, and I spent most of my morning resting up. This afternoon I am trying to digest everything that happened.  Always a fun weekend, that I have to cram in all the socialization for a year.  Plus seeing so many beautiful pens. I still don’t allow myself to spend time at tables that appear to have things that are way beyond my scope. Let’s face it, there are pens that I will never own.

This weekend was a bit of a break from my reality, a get away for just a brief moment in time as I then return to what I am facing starting now.  This week there will be discussion regarding the final care for my father as cancer has taken over.

Friday I arrived and was able to get set up for the social media slide show. This year we had a jumbotron that presented a slide show from those who have posted photos on instagram. The slide show took awhile to get going, but eventually it was picking up on new posts from the selected hashtags almost instantly.  Was great to get to see all the items that folks were acquiring, and then getting to see them shared.  That was my job during the pen show to make sure that the slide show kept running, and I tried to add pictures from the show.  I don’t quite have the eye for light and subject as some folks do when they share to instagram. But I’m doing my best.  As a wonderful and generous kindness, I was gifted a stay for the weekend as I worked the social media.  I really should do more about posting even more pictures, and next year we have plans to get the word out more so increase the posts and shares for the show.

Since the show last year I had wanted and hoped that eventually there would be a purple Karas Pen Co decograph become available for my acquisition. Sure enough there was one, well technically there were only two pens of the same purple acrylic swirl.  One was set aside for me, and shortly the one out on display was gone.  Turns out I found my pen fountain pen twin, and I have seen her almost every year at the show.  Her pen case held many pens that I own as well. I wanted to be reasonable about my pen purchases, but come on, I wanted this pen for a year, hoping it would eventually manifest itself.  The pen was acquired, and precious was placed in my pen case.

Friends were chatted with, meals were had together, and ogling the new pretty things friends gained was priceless.  One of our pen posse members bought this stunning turquoise Pelikan and had an architect grind done on it.  She was so thrilled showing it off as well as she should be.  I know what it takes to save up for that one pen that just speaks to you. Granted – I’m glad that the pens in that range are not speaking to me, because I would have to completely ignore their call.

Along with the decograph, there was another pen that I had been comtemplating.  Everyone of my pen friends owns a vintage Esterbrook.  This is a common, and well known recognizable pen. Certainly can be a work horse considering how many are still around now.  I had sat down at a table and my eye was drawn to the blue Esterbrooks, but honestly the model was just too tiny for me.  Then I saw one red pen that was a little larger, and I liked it quite a bit.  I tried a few nibs, but honestly a medium was just fine for me.  Though I did walk away from the table with the intentions to think about it.  I was meandering around when I was in front of a table of a couple that I had meet before at one of our pen posse socials.  The gentleman had also attended the Pelikan hub I was host for.   Then just sort of seeing what kinds of things he had on his table, I saw a handful of Esterbrooks.  There was one that looked familar, but it was engraved with “Supermatic”. I thought this was maybe another model of Esterbrook or I suppose it could of been the name of a company.  As it turns out, this particular pen is a knock off of Esterbrooks. Still made in the 1930s, but a knock off of a cheap widely available pen happened even back then. That bit amused me greatly, plus the fact it wrote well I just had to get it.  So I claim to have an actual original vintage “festercrook” pen.  Why not have pens that amuse you, and bring enjoyment to use? (Those in the pen community might find this tidbit funny.)

The weekend was memorable to say the least.  There were some unfortunate shenanigans that I will share in another post. I don’t want to have that spoil this entry.  When the technology plays nicely with me, I will find a way to add a photo of the pens I got.

May September End

Mishelle 2 Comments

Today is the very last day of September 2018, and I’m sitting here in my own little corner of the interwebs counting down the moments to this month being over.  This blog entry is going to be some what personal, and one I have not been able to talk about or really be able to share.  This won’t be about stationery related stuff, but just related to me.  The Mishelle Reine that is the person.

Now I want to say that I realize that difficult times are not all going to just suddenly end because this one particular challenging month is over, but I know that the challenges that did occur this month are going to move on.  They will change into the next thing I will work or battle through, and that is what life is all about.  But This past month, there are things that just have been so much.  Oh so very much.  So if you don’t want to read this, move on.  Might not be much to really gain by my words anyhow, but  I think I’m writing this for me, the audience of one.

My month began with feeling less than spectacular. Just as I was getting some what concerned with how I was feeling I came down sick.  And when I get sick, its maximum effort, none of this half ass stuff. I go full on sick!  Maybe one of the one things in my life that I am just really darn good at.  Not only did I come down sick with a sinus infection that eventually moved into my lungs, I was already being short of breathe to begin with. That’s right, I was getting winded even before I was getting sick.  So like most folks do, I plug all the symptoms into the good ole search engine, and what comes back as a possible cause is cardiac related.

Just in case you weren’t area of just how much diabetes is a lethal jerk, it can also be one of the many main causes for cardiac problems.  Got to figure the disease that can cause nerve damage, blindness, kidney failure and another assorted arrangement of no fun crap, it can also screw with your heart.  Now I honestly don’t need any help in that area, I have plenty enough stress that does a fabulous job of that. Then not only all this, I also have family history of cardiac issues.  That was already weighing quite heavily on me as it was.  Then things decided to take a complete dump on me.

Dealing with being sick, I was already not sleeping well. I could get an hour or two, then wake up to hack clear a lung for an hour. Then put that on repeat  so that maybe a total of 5 to 6 hours of sleep was occurring each day.  My dad calls me often to check on me, which was sweet of him. But then he called to let me know that they finally got the biopsy results from the sore spot he had, and as it turns out the cancer he had two years ago has returned.  The cancer that was killed prior to being surgically removed was back. Not only that, but this cancer is also causing him to have blood clots in his leg.  Something he has never had to deal with before.  Then the words that I will  never forget came from my father in tears, “I Don’t Want to Die.”  “I just can’t stop crying.”  Since my mother is gone, it has became my role to step up and being the strongest one when it comes to my father.

The words I said to him may sound harsh, but I was speaking them from the heart, even though my heart was breaking in two at the time. “Dad, its ok, allow yourself the time to cry. Just cry it out. We don’t know what these results mean, we will not know in detail just to the severity until they do further testing.  You got through all this before. Just one step at a time.”  No way was I going to tell my Dad to stop crying. But then a man is not supposed to cry, and he was feeling guilty and broken because he was.

Days later events occurred that broke my mother’s heart.  TO see my only daughter in the pain and hurt she has been suffering through has been yet another challenge that has been going on for some time. But now things were peaking to what could be the worse possible moment ever. Sadly a lot of what she has been dealing with is from the callous actions another. There is enough going on for this young woman that is already far too much to have to go through.  Now to have to go deal with even so much more because of the choices another took against her, is beyond any mean or measure.  The details are not mine to share, and I will keep the rest personal. Just know that as a witness to the pain, its been hard.  Has to be the the most helpless feeling I have felt that there was/is nothing I can do to ease the situation.  The only thing I could do was pray that some way, or some how she is going to be ok. This I continue to pray for fervently.

My cardiac issues are going to be put to the test, I won’t know if they mean anything for at least another six weeks or more.  This may not be anything more than just establishing a base line for the future possibilities of developing cardiac issues.  Hard to put a lot of focus on the situation with everything else going on. Frankly I haven’t had energy to do much but just barely go day by day.  I don’t say all of this seeking pity, I say this because I know somewhere there is someone else out there feeling the same way.  Even if  you feel that you are completely alone, you are not.  Personally I do feel quite alone a great deal of the time, but I know I am not walking by myself.

Is there a take away from me even writing this?  Right now, I don’t quite think so.  Some how I just need to release the tension from all that has been going on, and let it go.  Carrying this all around on my shoulders and in my heart is weighing me down too much, and taking away any strength I have left.

Pelikan Hub 2018

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Last week was the Pelikan Hub 2018 celebrated all over the world on September 21, 2018 at 6:30pm local time zones.  My state has two well established hubs that have been growing and thriving.  This year there was interest in having a southern Colorado Pelikan hub by members of the Colorado Pen Posse.  We had managed to get the required minimum of 7 participants to be considered a hub location. In the end we had a total of 10 folks register to participate.  This was so exciting, because most of the names of those that had signed up were ones I didn’t know before.  I had volunteered to be the Pelikan Hub master for the night, and Pelikan International had picked me to represent.

What is a Pelikan hub?  Pelikan helps to initiate get togethers of those for the love of Pelikan pens and inks. We talk pens, share pens and ink suggestions.

Building up to the hub I was getting quite nervous.  I have organized Pen Posse Socials before, and they had been going well according to the feedback I had received.  But some how I was nervous about this hub. Maybe because I had only attended one hub before, and this would be my second hub to attend only now I had to make all the choices of where to meet.  I wanted to find a place that was suitable with plenty of lighting, and spacing for everyone.  Seems that the location I had selected was quite conducive to the group, and folks did mingle around so that improved to the socialization aspect.

The day before the hub was to commence my package from Pelikan had arrived.  Everyone that had signed up got a brand new full bottle of Pelikan Edelstein Olivine, an A5 notepad and a first edition Pelikan writing magazine. Pelikan also included an ink set as a gift to hub masters. Not having means to create ink samples at the last minute, I did manage to ink up all the inks that Pelikan sent in personal pens of mine. I brought them along with the swabs of all the colors.  Seems that there wasn’t a great deal of interest in seeing these ink colors. But they were available if someone was so interested. Next year if we have a hub again, I will see about acquiring some sample vials in order to share ink with participants.

All in All this even was a great time.  I got to see quite a few Pelikans that belonged in personal collections. I was amazed with how beautiful some of them looked.  Unfortunately I can never afford to own a Pelikan pen – although I might be able to own a Pelikan Twist, but that has not been on my radar to purchase. (I’d rather try one to see if it’s worth the investment for me) At one point I did own a Pelikan m205 but that pen was too small for me to use comfortably.  Think that this hub also may beginning of more pen friends meeting up locally and sharing their love for fountain pens and stationery.  More pen friends the better.

 

Joy

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I’ve sat in front of this screen multiple times the last few days – just trying to come up with something to share with you.  Each time I attempt something, it just does not seem quite right.

Listening to random music on Spotify this song came up – and now I have listened to it quite a few times.  The basic message in this song, no matter how bad things are, you need to seek out the joy.  So allow me a moment to share this song with you.  If you are dealing with some challenges, take a moment and seek out some joy in your life.

 

of King & Country – .Joy

Karas Pen Co -Reaktor Starliner XL (fountain pen)

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Want to say that I have been a fan of Karas Pens for a couple of years. Recently they have launched their Reaktor line of pens. This line is a more affordable pen option that comes in fountain pen (starliner series) and their rollerball (galaxy series).

I had been on the fence about buying one of the new Starliner XL pens. The XL is the longer barreled pen so that you can use standard converters vs the mini just lets you use short international cartridges. The small pen is not something that would interest me, I need a pen to fit my hand so that it does not cause me issues. During one of our local Pen Posse Socials I got to try a set of Reaktor pens (pictured here pens tried including Starliner XL)

My thoughts – The feel of the Starliner XL is different than the Fountain K – their smaller metal fountain pen offering by Karas. (The Ink is the larger pen). The barrel of the Starliner is thinner than the Fountain K. Unposted the Starliner is most definitely lighter than the unpostable Fountain K. This might be a selling point for some folks, personally I prefer the weight. Posting the Starliner provides a better comfort when it comes to the weight and balance of the pen itself. Even though the pen is the same length as the Fountain K, the Starliner appears to be a little bit longer from barrel to nib. This appears to be the case because the Starliner nib is not as deeply set as the Fountain K is. (Karas had the Ink set deeply in the grip, but when they released the Decograph last year 2017, the nib was more presentable) This distance from the end of the nib to the placement of the grip puts my hand in a better comfortable position. As with smaller pens, when the nib is shorter and puts my hand closer to the page, then it can be more uncomfortable. A number 6 size nib typically places my grip at the proper distance to the page. So this bit more use of the number 5 bock nib works to improve the pen comfort.

The barrel of the Fountain K is wider, with a bit more heft and these two things I find comfortable and preferred. However the grip section is short on the Fountain K, where as the grip section of the Starliner is longer – and there are no threads, so you can really hold the pen as high as you find comfortable. Most of the grip section does appear to be wider in the Starliner, but I am not sure what the measurement is where the grip is at it’s narrowest point.

Having already a few Fountain Ks from Karas Pen Co, I was really on the fence about purchasing one. My purchasing was mostly hindered because my pen money stash had been depleted a couple months ago, and I have been trying to save a few coins for the up coming Colorado Pen show.

If someone has looking for an introductory pen with a durable component, the Starliner XL would most definitely be a recommendation. There are components to this pen that allows for a light or a more balanced pen option. The nibs used in this line are good writers from the get go. The snap cap is rather handy for quick draw writing ability. Selecting this pen over the fountain k, that is going to come down to personal preference. This pen is sleek, functional and durable which all adds to the value. Plus, this pen cap has a very satisfying snap.

If you have questions regarding the Starliner Xl or the Fountain K by Karas Pen Co. – please feel free to comment below.

Wing Sung 3008

Mishelle 2 Comments

Setting aside the fact that this pen is obviously looks like a knock off of  Twsbi and a Lamy, I want to discuss the properties of this design.  The pen takes the ink capacity of the Twsbi by utilizing the piston mechanism that takes up the entire barrel of the pen.  Then the utilization of a standard Lamy type feed and nib has produced a remarkable writing instrument.  In fact I found that when I replaced the nib with an actual Lamy steel nib, the pen wrote even better than before. In fact I have found that my actual Lamy pens write some what on the dry side where as the WS 3008 has a feed that produces a better optimal ink flow for my writing style.

I had purchased these pens sometime in December of 2017 just to have  something inexpensive in order to utilize some inks that personally questionable. I like the colors of these inks, but their properties make me hesitant in using them in my more quality pens.  This has worked out quite well. I have had no issues with them drying out, hard starting or even experience ink starvation when writing with a quick hand. Their performance were great.

The word to focus on here – were.  Their down fall seems that they utilized a screw inside the cap to hold the clip and finial on the pen. The kind of screw that was used was not galvanized so that it would prevent rusting. Several of these pens have been inked up since I have owned them.  When I wrote the pens empty, I would clean them out, allow them a period to dry and then ink them back up.   Just recently i removed the cap on one of them, and I smelled something quite off.  Sure enough, it was coming from the cap, and looking down inside was when I saw the screw had corroded.  One of the pens shows signs of the housing on the piston mechanism is cracked.  The barrel is fine, but there is a crack on the inside.  Needless to say I am quite disappointed.  Their cost is not that much more than a decent quality disposable pen, but I like fountain pens because I can use them again and again with different colors of ink.  I also liked that these had a great ink capacity so that I wasn’t fiddling with the inks I have set aside as questionable.  Some of them are that way because of their staining properties, and I personally don’t like cleaning ink off of me.

I wonder if others have experienced this issue with these pens. Because of this experience I really don’t want to purchase replacements just to use a couple times and toss out. The eBay seller had sent me the wrong nib sizes and promised to ship out replacement pens. Only the seller waited and waited until the 60 day window had expired, so that I could not leave feedback or contact them regarding the sell anymore.

Maybe I will see about finding a Lamy Safari that I can use for my questionable inks and just dedicate that pen for that purpose.  I had tried to do that with a jinhao 450, and only later had the pen end up leaking on me, so thats a disaster I don’t want to deal with.  Suppose a preppy is a cheaper pen to use, but I had given all of them away and just have one right now left. Thinking about the safari because I have the nibs for it, and I like being able to swap them around.

Really disappointed in the failure of these pens, they were liked while I had them. Once this fill of ink is done, I will salvage the nibs and toss the pens.  Just one so far has not failed, so I will use it until that does occur. Sure the pens are inexpensive enough that i could replace them, but at this point I really do not think that I will. Have you had a pen that you enjoyed, then later became disappointed?

 

Moving to New Journal – next chapter

Mishelle 1 Comment

 

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Just back in December 2017 I had started my second consecutive Nanami Paper Cafe Writer (which I guess now they are called Cafe Note) Come to think about it, this is the first time I have ever used the same notebook twice in a row, though I do have a couple more of these notebooks I will eventually use – emphasis on eventually.

There is this in between stage that I have fallen into.  This space similar to the old days when a television would pause their broadcast day and go to static until they resume. Young folks probably never experienced this dead air space. Another analogy would be the “show hole”  you find yourself in when you have just finished binging a few seasons of a show, and now looking to find that next series you want to commit some time to.

This space is where I am, and I have this feeling of being lost right now.  I have a journal I am strongly considering to move into, but that is going to be a long commitment.  With the space I’m in right now, I am not sure if this is the most suitable journal for the moment.  Do you ever just have a notebook speak to you.  Draw you in strong enough to finally put that pen to the page?   My pen went to the page, and wrote front and back. But all i wrote about was if I thought this was really going to be the one.

My journal is normally a space that i write to process my thoughts. To work though situations. to have a space to just be a crab and write  those grumpy thoughts out so that I am not projecting the grouch to those around me.   There are times I write about things that are getting me down, a place to savor pleasant experiences of my day.  Just a way my brain works, it needs that pen to the page.  When I don’t have that then my mind seems to get cluttered.  Visual analogies are my thing, so when I’m not writing the ind feels like a multiple lane interstate traffic jam.  When i have finally written some things done, even if its not necessarily all that great quality, the mind is calmer.  The road is now a country highway, and I’m the only one driving along with just one station on the radio (with no annoying commercial breaks)

If you journal, what do you do when you are in the in between stage?  Do you have a process in which you find some closure to that old chapter in your life before you are ready to move on?

For me there is a sense of accomplishment.  Sometimes a journal can take a year or more to finish.  Lately I have really picked up on wanting to write more, so I have been filling up my journals just a little faster than I have before. There are personal doubts that I could take up the task of writing through a 500 page journal.  Having finished up with a Cafe Writer/Note from  Nanami Paper (two of them in a row no less) and having a new Hippo Noto Journal waiting in the wings for several months, I  still find myself hesitating. There is a good chance I am over thinking this, but that is my thought process.  Most of the time I usually have a good idea of which one I want to move into next. Though this time I don’t know what I want to do.  This has been a two week lapse in journaling at this point, and I need to figure this out.

Figured I am not the only one that journals and experiences this gap. This blog is my way of thinking through my process, although not nearly as effective as actually writing this out.  This might also be my way of just giving myself the pep talk and go head and start that next chapter.   Certainly would like to hear your thoughts on this.  Let me know if you go through the same thing and how do you handle it or if your process just takes you into the next notebook thats with in your reach.

“Don’t confine those words, set them free.”