Holiday with Drizly

January 6, 2020Leave a comment

This post is sponsored by Drizly.

This Holiday season was made super easy for me because I was lucky to have come across Drizly. This is a great service that lets you pick the drinks and ingredients you need for your bar or seasonal cocktail and have everything delivered to your door within 2 hours. The door-to-door delivery makes things super easy, especially with so many houseguests.

I was just sitting in the living room, organizing our bar cart and realized so many things we needed before my relatives arrived from across the country. Sure I could have driven to a local store, but I hadn’t finished wrapping my presents and still needed to finish a few projects for work. So I downloaded the app to my iPhone, went through the menu (especially the Holiday picks section! That was super useful) and added everything I needed to my cart. Within an hour, a nice gentleman rang my doorbell and viola I had 2 pretty, red bags filled with the things I needed to get the party started. I can’t stress how easy this all was.

Usually when I’m hosting a party, I make sure the bar cart has a specialty cocktail or as I call it “the cocktail of the night”. However, I also like to provide a diversity of choices to cover the taste buds of all my guests. So having a vast variety to chose from makes my life simple.

One of my favorite to-go recipes is the “Rusty Nail”, which dates back to the 1930s. It’s a simple old-school cocktail that includes 1 oz scotch (had to made sure I had my favorite Glenlivet) and 1 oz Drambuie Scotch Liqueur. So just pour both things into a glass with a large ice cube, stir, add a twist of lemon (I actually use oranges instead because I love the crispness and zest of oranges, but lemons work well too) and enjoy.

Some other holiday picks were red win from campo Viejo, Mumm Napa Brut and Chivas Regal scotch because my friends and family love a variety, but we have a massive bias towards scotch.

In case you’re stuck and need some quick recipes or innovative ideas, Drizly has so many categories of recipes. See the link here: https://drizly.com/recipes#all-recipes

I can’t stress enough how easy this whole process was, it saved me so much time and it literally took a few minutes to go through the menu and add all the things I needed into the cart. With New Years around the corner and several other holidays and party opportunities in 2020, make sure you check this out today!

Please see the link here to order: https://drizly.com/article/guides/liquor/holiday-hosting-drink-guide/e-f695a2e7

Or you can download the App like I did and order directly from your phone. Make sure to use the code “HOLIDAYCHEERS” for free delivery of $5 off at checkout.

A ROADTRIP TO A PLACE WHERE YOU DON’T KNOW A SINGLE SOUL

April 22, 2018Leave a comment

Check out my article for Taylor Magazine: https://www.taylormagazine.com/a-roadtrip-to-a-place-where-you-dont-know-a-single-soul/

World Fashion Month: Pink Trends

March 7, 2018Leave a comment

If there’s any color that doesn’t fade or fail to impress it’s pink in every variation. I noticed a common theme where it was New York, Paris, Milan or London–pink was trending. Here are my top 5 picks with Cushnie’s satin rompers and slip dress along with Tom Ford’s hot pink combo an evny for my closest.

Cool Satin Looks by Cushnie et Ochs F/W 2018

2. Shimmer Mauves by Area Fall 2018

3. Streetwear meets Corporate Fashion by Louis Vuitton F/W 2018

4. Regal, rustic blush tones by Tata Naka AW 2018: London Fashion Week

5. Finally, center stage at New York Fashion Week was Tom Ford’s new collection Men & Women F/W Collection. Here were my favorite bold looks.

Closure

January 21, 2017January 21, 20171 Comment

What is closure? Is when Carrie finally puts on a brilliant dress and paints the town pink with her endless cosmos? Or is it when Rachel, Monica & Phoebe decide to have a ritualistic goodbye of their unlucky love affairs by burning mementos from their exes? Or is it when Blair decides to move on from Chuck by taking down her enemies and finding a Prince on the way?

It’s all of these things and none of these things. The things about closure is that it’s never the same for anyone, but it’s the moment you decide things are going to change because you want them to.

When I look back at the past year and recollect the most burdensome feeling I’ve ever had to endure; it’s to tell someone that you love them and to not have them say it back to you. That’s the moment my heart completely shattered, when he said, “I don’t know how to respond to this,” and even now I don’t think it’s fully back together in one piece.

I still remember the exact time and date when it ended. That’s probably why it’s such a hard feeling because every detail is etched into your memory. I remember his scent, the forest green color of his shirt, the blank look in his eyes, the way his hands were tucked in the front pocket of his jeans, and then walking into the city streets and aimlessly looking at the 2 am sky hoping he ran down the stairs or took the next elevator down so he would stop me from leaving. But that didn’t happen.

The thing I didn’t know then, but I do now: he wanted an out and when the chance came to take it, he did. That’s the difference in wanting a convenient relationship over a good one. As soon as it stops becoming convenient or requires a little bit more work or sacrifice; they decide to leave.

Then came the mourning part, where most of the summer consisted of my numb body lying in bed listening to Adele and Lana Del Rey tracks on repeat; and watching movies that generally end with the lead pair kissing in the rain or falling snow; eating a lot of chocolate and peanut butter straight from the jar; emptying my parent’s wine cabinet; and grieving a dead relationship.

When I spent the remaining of the summer working on my blog, traveling, reconnecting with old friends, making new ones–I stayed so distracted that I didn’t have time to think about him or how much I missed him. And for some reason I believed I had closure. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago when I saw something that forced me to hear the sound of my own heart breaking all over again.

It came at a time when I was half away across the country, taking a road trip with my best friends. While sitting around at our hotel room, one of them suggested I write down everything I wanted to every say to him, take a shot of tequila, call him and finally say it so it could be over. And then burn all the things he ever gave me while we drank some more. And finally put on some Chanel and walk into bars and meet new guys I will never have to see again. Something right out of those sappy rom-coms or breakup songs that we general make fun of it; but underestimate the underlying message behind those actions.

That’s what I did. I took the inspiration of so many cliches and decided the end of the year would be the closing act of long-dragged out “what-ifs” and mixed signals. It started with a blank page from the hotel’s notepad and as we drove down a mountainous California highway, I sat on the passenger seat and wrote down everything I ever needed to say. All the things he gave me, which wasn’t much–just empty promises and half-truths; and all the things I needed to tell myself. And the next day, I drove down to Manhattan Beach and tossed the letter into the ocean, and watched as the waves swallowed it into its depth. No one (not even him) will ever know what was written on there; it’s a secret between me and the ocean. This is why I will always have a special bond with LA because it is the place that taught me what closure really means.

It’s not waiting for him to tell me what I needed to hear. Or hoping he would woke up one day to genuinely apologize and realize he made a mistake. And it’s definitely not wasting time still being in love with someone that has long moved on with someone new. I didn’t want to be in California or any other corner of the world dreaming about what life could have been with him or wondering if I should have done things differently.

That’s the thing about closure–it’s not something someone says that makes you feel better or something he could have given me. It’s something I had to give myself. It was a single moment when I was standing on the pier, tossing the note away, and tears streaming down my face that I decided to snap this invisible string of attachment and loyalty that still connected me with him and the idea of “us” that I was still holding onto. That feeling that came afterwards; the feeling of relief, lightness and just being alive again after what felt like months of drowning– that was closure.

By no means am I completely whole again and I do think about him time to time: the first time I met him outside a bar after too much tequila, the first time we ever kissed; the first time I told him I thought he was perfect, the first time he ever called me his girl, the first time I woke up next to him, and the first time I realized I was in love with him when I was sitting at a restaurant in London. That’s the thing about your first real love and heartbreak–you can never truly forget it completely.

But the other thing about first real heartbreaks is that they make you wiser. I know now what I didn’t last year: all the doors of opportunity that opened were my doing, he never had the power to destroy me, I can carry on even with many different damaged versions of myself, I can fall in love again with someone new that will give me his time and attention without having to ask for it, and I know I want to be consumed by a kind of love that is in its most purest and wholesome form. This is closure: mustering courage to end one journey that catalyzes personal growth and empowerment to start a new adventure with unwavering optimism and undying fire in one’s spirit.

Modeling Is Not Just About Being Pretty: Everything I’ve Learned.

July 24, 2016July 24, 20164 Comments

I first started off modeling way back in February and it’s a fun job. Not a steady one, which is probably why I treat it more like a hobby or part time gig than an actual, professional venture. While I do enjoy it, people think it’s an easy job. Well it isn’t. It’s early mornings, long days, several outfit changes, no food at times (so surviving 6-8 hours on countless cups of venti black coffee and water), battling Chicago weather conditions and sacrificing a lot of time away from family and friends. But I do it because I actually love it. It’s fascinating to be in a creative space and escape reality into a landscape of fashion and style. To get dressed and put on makeup and be someone different for a day excites me.

And although I’ve learned my angles, where to find the light, to reset my eyes after each shot, the lingo of the trade, which profile is better; I’ve also learned more about myself and life through the channels of glamour and aura of glitz.

1. Fake friends vs real friends

You begin to see people for who they truly are. Some friends will be thoroughly supportive, while others will sit around, throwing around mocking and demeaning remarks. It becomes very easy to feel small and that is when you learn that not everyone has your best interest at heart. While I always like to believe that intrinsically everyone is good, the truth is that this is a very naive, sugar coated version of life. There is a difference between people that are nice and people that care. Nice people are merely that: nice. They want you during the highs or when they need a favor. The people that care stick around through all of it: the lows, the mess, the ugly days. The people that care are the real friends.

2. There is sunshine for everyone

I’ve never understood the concept of pulling others down. Granted it is a highly competitive place, but there is enough room on the runway and plenty of show light for everyone. Every person has their moment and it is a sad truth that a FEW people are so quick to steal it away. Isn’t the sun big enough to shine on everyone? I never have and never will understand the cynics, jealous folks of the world. But the truth is there are more men and women that want you to do well. The support and praise I’ve gotten from social media is ten folds greater than the negativity. Which is why, you have to know that hate is like white noise. It’s a small drop in the ocean.

3. Practice, practice, practice

Malcolm Gladwell once said that is takes 10,000 hours before you can achieve world class expertise in any skill. Modeling is the same. You need absolutely 0 skills, although being naturally photogenic and pretty doesn’t hurt. When I look back at my first head shots or test shoot, I was a clueless amaetur. Now, I’m still a struggler, but I know more now than I did 5,000 hours ago. I still forget to reset, I still miss the cue, or lose focus. But my current portraits are much improved than the first ones. Which goes to should that anyone can do anything with their life if they choose to work hard and have some discipline.

4. There is always someone better

Gisele Bundchen famously said that, “The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become.” Intuition and that “gut feeling” goes a long way because there are so many beautiful girls out there–much more so than me. They are taller, younger, skinnier, and more in demand. That really is how it works in real life too, isn’t it? You matter how much you achieve, there are people out there accomplishing much more. And it doesn’t matter because like I said there is sunshine for everyone. All you can do is stay focus, eradicate the self-doubts and keep moving forward. The other side of this coin is because there is always someone better, humility is everything. Seeking the simplicity and being humble during the great days will carry you through the worst times.

5. Limitations can lead to reinvention

When I first started out, I was asked if I would be willing to do nudity or semi-nudity. And really quickly I learned that sex sells, but that was one of my limitations. I don’t feel comfortable with that kind of exposure. I’m not afraid to be naked, but it was just one of those things I wasn’t and maybe never be ready for because of the culture I grew up in. Naturally, I felt like I was missing out on great opportunities, but then I remembered something Alexander McQueen once said: “People don’t want to see clothes, they want to see something that fuels the imagination.”

In order to be stylish or a social media influencer it’s not what you wear or don’t wear, it’s what you evoke. At that point, it got me to focus on my work and I decided I wanted to catalyze my weaknesses and limitations and ignite reinvention and imagination. The lesson here is that there is always room for improvement, but the real geniuses focus on their strengths, quickly recognize the flaws, and learn to adapt. Improvement isn’t enough, it’s the ability to evolve with change and eventually start creating change.

The Culture of Unrealistic Beauty Standards

June 9, 2016June 9, 2016Leave a comment

Leonardo Da Vinci’s “The Mona Lisa” is considered one of the most beautiful women in the world due to the uniformity in her complexion and perfect symmetry of her features. While symmetry appeals of the human eye, modern studies have indicated that what people assume is symmetry is actually clever painting techniques that manipulate shading, spatial frequency, and the golden ratio. Present day beauty and fashion culture is exactly this—an ingenious tool created by the elite and wealthy few of the world that the media, publishing, beauty and fashion industry utilizes to feed off the anxieties of those that don’t meet these unrealistic standards.

The fallacy isn’t a modern marvel, but stems from centuries of class consciousness. The 1800s were known as the century of the corset, which was originally designed to create smooth lines in fabric for that freshly ironed look. Eventually, it became a means to change the body’s silhouette. More rounder and curvy figures were associated with wealthy lifestyles, specifically those who had access to the luxuries of food and fine wine. Before that, the notion was that fair and skin as white as snow was far superior and more beautiful than darker tones—it was a device that separated the proletarian classes (who spent more time working outside in the sun) from the bourgeois. It’s been a century old dilemma, where a specific theme or archetype has dominated a decade that not many can adhere to–causing social, psychological, and physical issues.

Some examples:

The Gibson Girl: Slender and tall, voluptuous bust and hips exaggerated through the use of a corset (causing long term side effects to the back and bone structure)
The Flapper: Foil to The Gibson girl with androgynous & boyish looks. The main goal was to minimize breasts and curvature of the body, which forced many to diet and exercise for the ideal thin, sporty frame and tanned skin.
The Marilyn Monroe: Aimed towards busty, hourglass figures and the post-war propaganda to maintain flawless skin and never leave home without applying beauty products. It was also part of the new consumerism culture emerging from the remnants of The Great Depression and WW2. Again, women were expected to gain and maintain a certain figure, most famously the “36-24-36” measurements.
The Twiggy: The 60s recapitulated the beauty ideals of the 20s—minimal chest, thin fame, short, boyish looks, and appearing prepubescent. Many women became obsessed with being underweight and looking “younger”. The following decades saw a dramatic emergence of diet pills and eating disorders.
The Supermodel or The Barbie: A majority of the 80s and 90s saw the rise of toned, unachievable body types on nearly every magazine cover with emphasis on height, slenderness, bony in appearance, and a waif chic look. This was hugely problematically because the models were way underweight and extremely unhealthy. Not to mention, deceptive on part of print media, cosmetic retailers, and fashion conglomerates.

Even today, there is a very existent culture of unhappiness and insecurity towards one’s own body and looks. Much of today’s culture focuses on contouring and highlighting so the features are symmetrical, pointy, thinner-looking, and showcasing a sharp facial bone structure. Even though, it’s a technique much like Da Vinci’s painting methods. Magazines still Photoshop—using techniques and filters to cover up natural flaws and construct this “perfect beauty”, which honestly doesn’t exist. Not to say that we haven’t made strides because there finally are women of all shapes, sizes, and shades placed on the front page of magazines and chosen as ambassadors for high end brands—a practice that has been absence for the last however many centuries. Yet, the deception is still prevalent. Beauty and style icons that undergo plastic surgery and pass it off as “natural” or “God’s gift” when it reality it’s not. The destruction of self-image and body confidence comes from chicanery.

Natural lighting photo shoot to accentuate my flaws, but also my realness. Minimal makeup with a bare and natural look.

I don’t fit the norm. My skin is patchy, my complexion is never consistent, and filled with lots of freckles and sun spots. I have hereditary dark circles for as long as I could remember. Most of my life has been spent hiding them under glasses even though I have 20/20 vision and recently trying to escape them through Bobbi Brown peach or Mac orange corrector. My lips are small and the top one is barely visible. My nose isn’t symmetric and appears fat from certain angles. I’ve considered plastic surgery (if I had to be honest), but the ramifications of looking like a plastic doll scares me. I don’t have the height of a super model so I know people judge me when I tell them I am one. Back in the day I had whale thighs and chicken legs and lanky arms. Despite the lean, thin frame there are days when I look bloated and I can’t help it. I am completely and utterly flawed. By no means am I a perfect beauty. I don’t think I fit anyone’s definition of beautiful. But I’m real. I like what I see in the mirror and I fit my definition of beautiful even though I do have insecure days. By no means am I a perfect beauty nor ever will be. I just wish more people would embrace “normal beauty” over “perfect beauty”.

What disappoints me the most is when someone tries to sell me a fabricated version of beautiful that is unattainable and a plain lie. Growing up, there weren’t any girls that looked like me in popular culture, on TV shows that I watched, or in magazines that I read; unless it was National Geographic piece on India, but even then I never saws like me. I don’t want that for the future generations and for girls to go through the phrases of insecurity like I did. And despite this new movement to embrace diversity, there is always a slight stigma when someone is different or just simply normal. It shouldn’t be taboo to look normal; it should be taboo to look unrealistic. It shouldn’t be a sin to be flawed, but condemn artificiality and fakeness. It shouldn’t cause uneasiness to be real, raw, and organic; it should trigger happiness. Beauty isn’t this socially construed tangible idea or rhetoric, it’s more than that. It’s the intangible, the eccentricities and oddities, the ordinary that is interesting, and the form you can’t see from the surface but requires you to look deeper.

The Curious Case of Cinderella Syndrome

May 26, 2016May 26, 20162 Comments

For as long as I could remember, I have loved fairy tales and happy endings. I like to believe that they are the source of my innate optimism. But what I really have is the “Cinderella Syndrome”—propelled by years of chick flicks, Kinsella and Austen novels, and a consistent diet of 90s Bollywood rom-coms. Basically, unrealistic and sugar-coated scenarios that enforce the whole “all’s well that ends well” and “everyone gets a happy ending”, even though life is much more complex than that. It’s not necessarily about waiting for Prince Charming or the ideal gentlemen prototypes that every girl dreams of. It’s the idea ingrained into our adolescent, feeble minds that the perception of women is to be damsels in distress.

Recently, I came across this complex originally penned by Colette Dowling and learned that it becomes more apparent as we mature. Dowling describes it as “where a woman is beautiful, graceful, polite, supportive, hardworking, and independent” aka the Cinderella types, but she is not capable of changing her situations with her own actions. She relies on outliers, usually a strong male figure to save her and is afraid to forego her dependency on others.

See, Cinderella is the victim of her environment and endures the mistreatment of her stepmother and stepsisters till she receives aid from her fairy godmother. And she never seizes the opportunity to come forward with the one glass slipper she has till Prince Charming comes to her door. Or for example, take the basic premise of DDLJ, where the female protagonist, Simran, is trapped in a patriarchal household and culture. Forced to marry a guy she doesn’t even like and never takes a stand for herself till the hero comes to her rescue. Ever since I first saw it as a child, my mind has been warped into this false fantasy that a “Raj Malhotra” actually exists and will actually turn up at my door when I’m going through a rough patch. As if, right?

If you think about, it’s an archaic frame of mind. However, I constantly see women around me and sometimes myself falling prey to it. Recently, I heard a girlfriend say that “the best way to move on from one guy is to get under another”—which triggered my fascination by how much not just woman, but we as individuals (including men) rely on others for emotional detachment from situations.

When breakups happen, we tend to compensate the pain by distractions whether it’s hanging out more with friends and family or jumping back into the dating pool without closure at times. When failures happen, we tend to close off from the world and rely on materialistic comforts like partying, travelling, booze, shopping, gorging, oversleeping, etc. In any case, our minds want to constantly avoid the real issue on hand and let it keep lingering on. Why not approach it head on? Why are we so afraid to confront the voices from within? Why do we fall weak when it comes to letting go and being independent? Why do we choose to let others save us and let them make decisions that should be ours to make?

At times, it’s not even about waiting for a male figure to save us—it’s about not having enough confidence in our inner strength. We like to underestimate our resilience during the lull phases and over credit circumstances or unnatural forces when the life turns uphill. It’s great to be humble, but I’ve noticed that we’re so frightened to pat ourselves on the back when we conquer even the littlest battles.

It’s this weird thing about human beings, as soon as we think we’re drowning–we want someone to dive in and save us or at least throw in a life saver or wrap us up in a rescue jacket. The truth is that each one of us is capable of saving ourselves. When the tides get rougher, we have the ability to teach ourselves how to survive and swim through it.

The thing about fairy tales is that they’re not real and you can’t project them onto real life. As much as we deserve and crave happy endings, sometimes we don’t get them. And then we become these creatures that have dependency issues. And it’s okay to be vulnerable, optimist, idealistic and feel dejected because it means we’re still capable of dreaming and loving things. And it’s always alright to go through the same kind of pain over and over again because each time we learn something new about ourselves from it. But we shouldn’t let fear and insecurities cage in our ability to think and react independently. I always think it’s better to rebel a little like Ariel, overcome societal pressures like Mulan, or fall in love with an unconventional looking kind soul like Belle did than have a case of the Cinderella Syndrome no matter how Charming the Prince is.

To Be Parisienne: Artistic Complexity Crossed with Intellectual Street Style

May 12, 2016May 12, 2016Leave a comment

Fashion is a long-sustained and major cultural import of Paris since the early 15^th century. It is the home to names such as, Chanel, Chloe, Dior, Givenchy, Hermes, Vuitton, and Yves Saint Laurent. France’s association with fashion started as early as Louis XIV’s reign where luxury lifestyle was highly publicized. Jean Donneau de Vise and the fashion press transformed the marketing and design landscape of fashion and introduced the idea of “seasons”, or the changing of styles. Each era of French fashion has been characterized by a prevalent notion: Baroque and Classicism is elegance, imagery of haughtiness, and richness in colors; Rococo was the quintessential abolishment of frivolous and superficial and preference of informal and natural looks; Neoclassicism brought “woven air” era of Greek and Roman influence with transparent linen, gowns with cleavage, ribbon sandals, string of pearls, exotic fragrances, and eccentrically wide trousers and neckties; and Belle Epoque was dominated by high fashion and couture houses. Much of the high fashion was revolutionized by Coco Chanel’s creations. Her innovative designs highlighted understated femininity through nautical themes, which revealed stark inconsistencies when compared to the era’s popular styles. Chanel’s distinctive beauty ideals included indulgence of sporting, the yacht life, and simplistic fashion.

While Parisian styles are focused on designer brands, Lyon (also known as a silk capital) fixates on modern street fashion of Armani, Dior, Calvin Klein, Prada and Dolce and Gabbana. And Marseille tends to offer more vintage and antique looks. As a whole, France’s styles are quite reflective of the region and its history. The common themes tend to linger in the arena of artistic and philosophical.

“Around the Fashion World in Four Looks”:

My re-creation of PFW began by referencing “How to be Parisian Wherever You Are”. I recognized quickly that most styles are a mixture of high end and also low-end but high quality chic. My artistic vision included florals and the accentuation of small bodices. It goes back to Coco’s feminine elegance along with the use of fabrics for the petite perception.

Parisian styles are not to be flaunted, but shared. It is not about ego or social standing, but expressing oneself. Personality is a far greater attribute than ignorance. Parisiennes are reminiscent of their cultural past but also innovative. Acceptance of change is done with warmth. Finally, there is an emotional integrity and sagacious moods that reflect the beauty of urbanscapes and architecture in their style choices.

“She doesn’t have a ring on each finger, or a big diamond on each ring.
She doesn’t wear a gold watch that costs as much as a fancy car.
In fact, she doesn’t own a fancy car.
She doesn’t carry an enormous designer bag.
But she might have a newspaper under her arm.
She might mention Sartre or Foucault in a conversation.
It’s her personality that sparkles and nothing else: the signs of intellectual wealth.”

“The Parisienne retains her little imperfections, cherishes them even (the gap in her smile or her slightly crooked tooth, her prominent eyebrows or strong nose): these are the signs of a certain strength of character and allow her to feel beautiful without being perfect.”

“She’s Parisian, which is to say she’s melancholy. Her mood responds to the changing colours of her city. She can feel a sudden surge of sorrow or even hope for no reason at all. In the blink of an eye, all those lost memories and smells come flooding back, reminding her of loved ones who are no longer there. And time passing by.”

Above : Top 12 Paris Street Styles from PFW Spring 2016 from La Rue de la Mode

Aishwarya Rai: Versatility and Life Lessons Through Style

May 11, 2016May 11, 2016Leave a comment

Women of Essence: 9 Style Icons, Part 1

My fascination with her started at the wee age of 8. She caught my age when I saw her twirling so effortlessly in a light blue lehenga in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. My god, I thought as such a young age, how immensely beautiful, graceful, and traditional she is. Over the years, I’ve come to realize the clout her style and wisdom has had on my formative years. Without equivocation, I identify with her personality and her decisions. Maybe, it’s because like her, I am a fellow scorpio and we react so in sync with our sign. But over the years, I’ve noticed that her philosophy on life , how she handles unpleasant circumstances with so much grace, and her ability to let go is not only admirable, but also examples I’ve turned to when I needed guidance. Her fashion choices underwent flak, but her legacy is forever in style. Here are her 15 best looks and messages to live by:

1.“I am particular about everything I do. I do not wish to be defined in any particular way. Versatility is the key.”

Throughout her career, there has never been one single incident or character that identifies her. Her allure is in her ability to take risks and be different. Originality and uniqueness is always appreciated and she always brought that to the table.It’s the notion that one is capable of wearing many hats and being a jack of all trades. Even if you look at her style statement, it has always been eclectic—a hint of western, dash of European, some street style and casual comfort, but never discounting the richness of Indian culture.

2. “The more you achieve in life, the more susceptible you are to the vagaries of life. But the challenge lies in not letting it all affect you. If you allow the pressures to pull you down, you won’t be able to forge ahead in life. You’ve got to take the highs and lows in your stride.”

For as long as I could remember, strong women are quickly categorized as shrewd and manipulative. And having a soft heart in a cruel world doesn’t make one weak, but brave. However, sensitive and soft people tend be quickly affected by what others say about them, especially to unwarranted, mean-spirited criticism. Her personal life made her an easy target and received unnecessary brickbats, but I’ve always noticed that priorities never shifted. When a woman sets out to build an empire and a legacy, there is no hindering her ambition, her focus, and her will. The denigration is a merely a small cost.

3.“I’m a mix of a tomboy and a woman. And I like it that way.”

Again, I’ve always admired that she’s a woman not afraid to wear different labels. Not designer labels—but social labels. As a pageant winner, there is a different aura she must always represent, but has the ability to be unapologetic about her identity and roots. It’s often hard to find one particular label that society tends to predetermine and thrust upon us. And it helps knowing that there are successful people that choose not to be defined by stereotypes.

4. “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”

She has taught me that humility, generosity, and compassion for others makes you even more beautiful. The elegance and grace of a real woman lies in her heart and her desire to stay grounded. Despite all of her fame, connection, and the stature of her name, there is realness to her. She is not caged in by materialist treasures or sunken with pride.

5. “Elegance is innate…individual…eternal…it stands the test of time!”

Real style, the kind Tom Ford invents and Coco Chanel popularized is elegance. The key to elegance is simplicity. Basically, whatever comes from within and reflects the true nature of the self. Which is probably why despite some unfashionable sartorial choices, she is still just as relevant as she was 20 years ago. That is probably people always say that she doesn’t wear the clothes, but the clothes wear her. It is also why her name is a brand. When you hear, you know you’re about to experience elegance, grace, and unadulterated simplicity.

6. “I would say, the quality to speak volumes without really being that verbose – innate strength and silent conviction.”

The best kind of rebuttal is silence. As someone once said, “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” I’ve learned this from her at many times that it is so easy to vent out frustrations, but it takes far more strength to hold onto your dignity.

7. “When you go through a lot, it’s very easy to sink. Staying afloat can be very tough. At that point, which straws you grab at is what defines your next moment. And there are some very easy straws to help you escape life. The tough part is to stay attuned to reality.”

The strange part of life is that there are very few moments that define us. She picked the right straws at the right time. When she abused, she walked away; when they tried to ignore and humiliate her, she became even more successful and without demeaning her enemies in the process. The lows are just as significant as the highs, but you have to keep things light and not forget where you come from and who you are. The kind of person you are at your lowest and darkest expresses the realness and constancy of your character.

8.“I’ve always said that haters are a drop in the ocean. There’s that much more love. Any kind of negativity in any case just doesn’t stick, it drops off and it doesn’t matter.”

This is so relevant, especially in a society obsessed with certain beauty ideals. I remember the fashion critics tore her apart when she gained weight post-pregnancy. It was disingenuous, but hurled at her because her beauty is immensely popular. It does feel unwarranted since she has never been one to preach fitness or impose unrealistic beauty standards. Her go to mantra has always been to feel comfortable in your skin and embrace all shapes, sizes, and colors. It seems though that there will always be a few people that are extremely insecure or judgmental ready to animadvert every flaw. What these folks don’t comprehend is that every flaw adds to beauty. I’ve learned that the naysayers are far and few and unworthy of attention.

9.“Someone asked me why I’m politically correct, even when people hit out so openly at me. But the truth is, I’ve never been brought up to behave any other way. I can’t say anything hurtful about anyone. I just don’t believe in saying mean things. I won’t feel good doing that. It’s strange why being well behaved is perceived as being too “propah” and staid. This is the way I am. I’m amazed how many people feel good hitting out at me. They’re welcome to do it.”

It’s strange how society praises bluntness and honesty to that point where it crosses the boundaries of arrogance and rudeness. But we as human beings forget that every soul deserves respect. It’s petty to criticize, judge, gossip, and make someone feel small and insignificant. But in the process of being polite people like her are often called fake and pretentious. Since when did it become in style to lower another’s esteem by uninhibited frankness?

10.“I don’t believe in proving a point to anybody. Nobody is that important.”

Maybe it’s the Parisian in her or maybe she’s born with it. But I’ve always admired women that have a “frankly don’t give a damn” attitude. You don’t owe anyone anything. They are not entitled to you and they certainly are not that special that you should fret over their opinions. You should not feel your value teetered by trifling white noise.

11.“I’m not a tease. I don’t go around fluttering my eyelashes and wrapping men around my little finger.”

Being a girl next door is wholesome. Being honest and offering someone modesty and humbleness is far more admirable. She has at one point been every man’s dream because she’s unattainable pureness—however not an object by any means. Her appeal lies in her virtue and ferocity towards life and love. Teases are indulgences for a fortnight or two, but the authentic ones are for keeps.

12.“I’ve been excited, honest, earnest, enthusiastic about whatever course my life has taken, but never anxious about the results. Because when you’ve given your best, you don’t need to bother.”

When you pour all of life and soul into something, the universe has a way of rewarding you. But sometimes things do fall apart in order for even better things to fall into place. Her life may seem like a cake walk from very distant perspective. But she created her own niche without nepotism and being a complete outsider. She didn’t stress about the glass ceiling or the heart breaks, she held her head in the clouds, worked really hard, and soared all the way to the top.

13.“I’d rather be mysterious.”

Relevance pertains to those that engage in transformative processes and have an aura of mystery. Like old school Hollywood starlets, there is so much about her that people don’t know, which is one of her biggest appeals. She doesn’t share everything. It doesn’t have to do with fear or vulnerability, but it’s good to have some secrets and parts of you that only a select few are privy too. That mystery should be a privilege to confidantes and camaraderie.

14.“My biggest concern is always the students who are working toward a certain career–when they limit themselves to just that one option. They need to know that the world is huge–it’s an ocean, and there are so many options. It’s not the end of the world if they don’t get to pursue an apparent childhood dream. They feel so defeated, which is very disheartening. It’s sad to know that people let themselves be limited by these aspirations.”

Failure is exhausting. Everyone goes through it and either you let halt you or use it as a catalyst for profound reinvention. She once mentioned in an interview that she wanted to pursue medicine or zoology, but it was difficult for her. Before she was famous, she auditioned for some show and was rejected. Despite everything, there are going to come times when you fail. It’s a natural process, but you don’t let that moment anchor your sail. The sea is boundless—and life is filled with so many opportunities.

15.“The more you are blessed with experience, the fuller and the more enriched you are in your craft.”

The end all message: seize the moment. The more you live, travel, observe, and simply melt into experiences, the richer you become. You gain a sense of purpose, learn about new cultures and styles and art, and engage in conversations with different worldviews. And this changes your perspective on not only the world, but yourself. This brings it back to the beginning when I used the world versatility to describe her style. She’s a captain of many ships, someone that loves and lives in the moment, learns and expects things at face value, and doesn’t let people pigeonhole her. When you’re versatile, you take on many roles and many challenges and define yourself through many angles. And years from now when people look back at her vintage style, attitude, and look book—they’ll know she was always in vogue because she painted her legacy with colors of raw magnetism, dignity, simplicity, grace, and wisdom.

Restoration Hardware: Galleries For Different Philosophies

May 9, 2016May 9, 2016Leave a comment

The mind of Oscar Wilde is multi-faceted, where realism and fantasy intermingle and create onto a blank canvas work unforeseeable by the ordinary minds. Restoration Hardware is like an Oscar Wilde creation. In every space, there is a vision. The galleries branch into different philosophies. Some have features that follow the function of the space, others tell a story or fold into a different era of style.

California based merchandiser, Stephen Gordon, who had difficulty finding high quality, luxury and vintage hardware and fixtures for a Victorian home, founded the idea of RH. While, RH provides furniture and pieces for every style of interior décor: Victorian, Edwardian, Roman, minimalist, modern, western, rococo, contemporary, classical, etc.; it also provides an experience. Walk between the spaces with a Prosecco or Americano in one hand and a notepad filled with designs or a camera filled with snapshots in another. It is an experience, where one dreams, fantasizes, and engages in storytelling. They tell themselves, this piano will be the main attraction for dinner parties or this white wooden crib is the birthplace of new lullabies. It invokes the modern curate to engage with this next-generation styled design gallery.

“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”

The walls aligned with mirrors or new age white artisan room with vintage Vogue cutouts is for the dreamers of the world. RH was truly created for those unhinged by reality, not caged in by normalities of the mundane, and can see past emptiness. For the dreamer, each space is like a painting—offering a unique color palette, brush stroke, depth, angle, and hue for the mind to dive deeper into and allowing it to explore the space through mental mediums.

Fantasy is escapist.

RH has quickly become a weekend, happy hour escape. As though an inhabitant of a Lana Dey Rey song, the observer is transfixed visually and escapes to different eras and times. The ambiance supports luxury fantasy and hopes of greater reality than presently sustaining. Serenity and pristine through whites and happy greys.

“A love story is not about those who lost their heart but about those who find that sullen inhabitant who, when it is stumbled upon, means the body can fool no one, can fool nothing—not the wisdom of sleep or the habit of social graces. It is a consuming of oneself and the past.”

The one thing I left with from my tour of RH was the constant reassurance of self-appreciation and self-love. Imagery that reinforces motivation, confidence, and table places for social graces. Counting blessings through aesthetes, old and new lightings and subtle and soft fabric touches.

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The Flaneuse Journal

28, Chicago art and fashion enthusiast, with Paris daydreams. And a stylish wanderer that strolls around aimlessly but enjoyably. Observing life and the essence of their surroundings.