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seher • سحر @seher
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<3 // letting it die, making space for the new.

2019-06-28 22:48

712 23

 

<3 // letting it die, making space for the new.

for man repeller on 35mm
.
there is no one like you in the world. not everyone will understand you. sometimes, you won’t understand yourself. you will be loved. you will be left. you will feel despair. and hope. sometimes simultaneously. you will beat your fists against the wall and hear nothing. you will lie there sometimes, lifeless. you will rise and begin on a path unknown. you will meet travelers. some will betray you. others will show you your light. you are not alone but you do inhabit this body alone. do you love it? how does it make you feel? remember that you are all it’s got.

2019-06-28 22:34

138 9

 

for man repeller on 35mm . there is no one like you in the world. not everyone will understand you. sometimes, you won’t understand yourself. you will be loved. you will be left. you will feel despair. and hope. sometimes simultaneously. you will beat your fists against the wall and hear nothing. you will lie there sometimes, lifeless. you will rise and begin on a path unknown. you will meet travelers. some will betray you. others will show you your light. you are not alone but you do inhabit this body alone. do you love it how does it make you feel remember that you are all it’s got.

<3 // see. feel. listen. we already know.

2019-06-13 19:43

668 28

 

<3 // see. feel. listen. we already know.

mariquel for hickies

a few weeks ago, a book titled ‘the courage to be disliked’ sprang up on a facebook ad for me. i was so moved by just the title alone, that i posted it to my instagram stories immediately.

the message became louder and louder over the course of that day and the days that followed. signs appeared on my path in an uncannily steady stream:

1- a few hours later, a friend with some extra audible credits made an offer to gift some folks an audio book of their choice. i looked up the top 10 audible books, which happened to include brené brown’s ‘dare to lead.’ i reviewed her other recent titles and came across ‘braving the wilderness.’ the premise: “belonging” by belonging to yourself first— especially when it means sometimes standing alone in order to fully rest in your truth. naturally, i knew which title i was supposed to request.

2- that evening, an article on arundhati roy came up on my facebook feed. the article was titled as a direct quote from roy: ‘the point of a writer is to be unpopular’

3- late that night / the following morning, i ended up in an interaction that prompted me posting a series of instagram stories about boundaries when people want access to your contacts and/or resources. this is a topic i’d been dragging my feet to speak on for a year in fear of anyone feeling offended, singled out, or triggered. sharing these thoughts definitely required channeling my personal courage to be disliked. interestingly enough, these posts ended up being some of my most popular posts on stories— by far. they also potentially resulted in some unfollows. i talked about this topic in the caption of my last feed post if you’d like to read more.

4- that afternoon, while searching for something unrelated in a facebook group, i came across ‘the courage to be disliked’ once again— this time, as part of a recommendation someone was making. casual.
.
(continued in comments | 1/2)

2019-06-11 18:56

233 11

 

mariquel for hickies a few weeks ago, a book titled ‘the courage to be disliked’ sprang up on a facebook ad for me. i was so moved by just the title alone, that i posted it to my instagram stories immediately. the message became louder and louder over the course of that day and the days that followed. signs appeared on my path in an uncannily steady stream: 1- a few hours later, a friend with some extra audible credits made an offer to gift some folks an audio book of their choice. i looked up the top 10 audible books, which happened to include brené brown’s ‘dare to lead.’ i reviewed her other recent titles and came across ‘braving the wilderness.’ the premise: “belonging” by belonging to yourself first— especially when it means sometimes standing alone in order to fully rest in your truth. naturally, i knew which title i was supposed to request. 2- that evening, an article on arundhati roy came up on my facebook feed. the article was titled as a direct quote from roy: ‘the point of a writer is to be unpopular’ 3- late that night / the following morning, i ended up in an interaction that prompted me posting a series of instagram stories about boundaries when people want access to your contacts and/or resources. this is a topic i’d been dragging my feet to speak on for a year in fear of anyone feeling offended, singled out, or triggered. sharing these thoughts definitely required channeling my personal courage to be disliked. interestingly enough, these posts ended up being some of my most popular posts on stories— by far. they also potentially resulted in some unfollows. i talked about this topic in the caption of my last feed post if you’d like to read more. 4- that afternoon, while searching for something unrelated in a facebook group, i came across ‘the courage to be disliked’ once again— this time, as part of a recommendation someone was making. casual. . (continued in comments | 1/2)

<3

2019-06-05 21:00

843 52

 

<3

eric for adidas x reigning champ

i love supporting my people, my community, marginalized and invisibilized folks, people with whom i resonate, and those i share common challenges with. i enjoy doing so in a way that is not only nourishing to those receiving from me, but also a healthy choice for myself and others concerned or involved. i am disinclined to engage with people who feel expectant or entitled to me or my resources. passive-aggressiveness is also met with deaf ears. i shared the below mapping on my instagram stories a few weeks ago and many people found resonance. so i am sharing it again here. peace <3

just because someone is:
- a woman
- a woman of color
- a person who i share commonalities with
- a person i generally like

does not mean i will automatically do what they want me to do, give them what they want from me, or hook them up with resources (people, things, institutions)

this does *not* mean that:
- i’m a hater
- i’m being competitive
- i’m hoarding resources
- i’m reveling in gatekeeping
- i’m operating from ego
- i don’t like a given person
- i don’t respect a given person
- i don’t want everyone to win

this *does* mean that:
- i am very discerning
- i am very deliberate/purposeful
- i take very seriously who and what i offer my time, energy, resources, and co-sign to
- i honor my boundaries and capacity
- i don’t owe anyone anything
- i am courteous of my network and their time, energy, and boundaries
- i have no interest in doing something i don’t want to just because someone else wants me to

2019-06-03 21:50

348 31

 

eric for adidas x reigning champ i love supporting my people, my community, marginalized and invisibilized folks, people with whom i resonate, and those i share common challenges with. i enjoy doing so in a way that is not only nourishing to those receiving from me, but also a healthy choice for myself and others concerned or involved. i am disinclined to engage with people who feel expectant or entitled to me or my resources. passive-aggressiveness is also met with deaf ears. i shared the below mapping on my instagram stories a few weeks ago and many people found resonance. so i am sharing it again here. peace <3 just because someone is: - a woman - a woman of color - a person who i share commonalities with - a person i generally like does not mean i will automatically do what they want me to do, give them what they want from me, or hook them up with resources (people, things, institutions) this does *not* mean that: - i’m a hater - i’m being competitive - i’m hoarding resources - i’m reveling in gatekeeping - i’m operating from ego - i don’t like a given person - i don’t respect a given person - i don’t want everyone to win this *does* mean that: - i am very discerning - i am very deliberate/purposeful - i take very seriously who and what i offer my time, energy, resources, and co-sign to - i honor my boundaries and capacity - i don’t owe anyone anything - i am courteous of my network and their time, energy, and boundaries - i have no interest in doing something i don’t want to just because someone else wants me to

<3

2019-05-13 20:26

471 32

 

<3

jess on 35mm in greenpoint
.
being in love is a fractional concept; a limited attempt to grasp and express love’s infinity.
.
there is constriction in its selectivity, its specificity. an innocent cloudiness in the bliss. we think we’ve found home. in a way, we have.
.
being in love feels more like a stepping stone, a window. the vibration of another resonates with a matching counterpart within us— we vibrate. this feeling: a taste of all-permeating divine oneness. we are in recognition, remembrance of our true nature. to love and to be loved is a mirroring.
.
our loves are not “the ones,” exceptional unicorns uniquely deserving of our bright eyes. our loves are guides and messengers of the truth of what and who we all are. the truth of all beings: that we *are* love and our fabric is a single shared universal consciousness.
.
experiencing love is an awakening. it is an expansion that will always live with us should we choose to accept this gift. the loss of a body or a relationship can never destroy or negate the opening that was created.
.
being brave for love in all forms at every opportunity, without stifling it by qualification; our hearts flower open more each time, breath becomes easier. life becomes more of a being and a knowing than a doing. there is freedom.
.
i find myself leaning towards the softness and sweetness of simply *being* unconditional love; where we are deeply “in love” with all beings, all at once, at all times, without exception. i think it’s the secret to all things.
.
<3

2019-05-04 20:15

192 15

 

jess on 35mm in greenpoint . being in love is a fractional concept; a limited attempt to grasp and express love’s infinity. . there is constriction in its selectivity, its specificity. an innocent cloudiness in the bliss. we think we’ve found home. in a way, we have. . being in love feels more like a stepping stone, a window. the vibration of another resonates with a matching counterpart within us— we vibrate. this feeling: a taste of all-permeating divine oneness. we are in recognition, remembrance of our true nature. to love and to be loved is a mirroring. . our loves are not “the ones,” exceptional unicorns uniquely deserving of our bright eyes. our loves are guides and messengers of the truth of what and who we all are. the truth of all beings: that we *are* love and our fabric is a single shared universal consciousness. . experiencing love is an awakening. it is an expansion that will always live with us should we choose to accept this gift. the loss of a body or a relationship can never destroy or negate the opening that was created. . being brave for love in all forms at every opportunity, without stifling it by qualification; our hearts flower open more each time, breath becomes easier. life becomes more of a being and a knowing than a doing. there is freedom. . i find myself leaning towards the softness and sweetness of simply *being* unconditional love; where we are deeply “in love” with all beings, all at once, at all times, without exception. i think it’s the secret to all things. . <3

my initial major in college was computer science. i took two c++ courses and aced them.
.
my mom basically chose that major for me (i was too lazy to do law school or med school). wasn’t what i wanted but i was obedient.
.
i taught myself to code websites and graphic design in high school for fun. it was a very hackeneyed proficiency but i did my thing. i was in web rings and had a guest book and custom graphics on my personal web page and everything.
.
and because i was a total elitist snob, i refused to use any software like dreamweaver or front page— i coded that shit from scratch in microsoft notepad.
.
mid-semester, i changed my major from comp sci to business. dropped all my courses. and so i wouldn’t lose the semester, signed up for a full load of half term intensive courses.
.
then i went to a top business school (wharton) to only end up at a whack ass marketing analytics job i hated. i wanted to be in marketing strategy and creative, and the jobs i wanted were in new york. my traditional pakistani immigrant parents made me move back home to the bay. so i literally took the job that paid me the highest and dealt with it. for four years.
.
my parents also said i couldn’t live on my own til i got married. finally making that stand for myself— after explosive arguments and real threats to my relationship with my family— changed my life forever. i moved from the suburbs to san francisco for a few years.
.
then i got fired. other best thing that changed my life. moved to nyc 8 years ago almost to the day. became a freelance photographer. i taught myself that, too.
.
after some time i realized that photography alone wasn’t fulfilling me. last 4 years or so i’ve been searching for deeper meaning, a rich + holistic + multifaceted work life, and what exactly my higher calling looks like. it’s required a lot of patience. i’ve got some answers, and i have a lot more questions.
.
potential morals:
.
ya girl been on the internet since earthlink and prodigy. middle school. we old.
.
the journey is vast.
.
<3

2019-05-04 00:17

426 50

 

my initial major in college was computer science. i took two c++ courses and aced them. . my mom basically chose that major for me (i was too lazy to do law school or med school). wasn’t what i wanted but i was obedient. . i taught myself to code websites and graphic design in high school for fun. it was a very hackeneyed proficiency but i did my thing. i was in web rings and had a guest book and custom graphics on my personal web page and everything. . and because i was a total elitist snob, i refused to use any software like dreamweaver or front page— i coded that shit from scratch in microsoft notepad. . mid-semester, i changed my major from comp sci to business. dropped all my courses. and so i wouldn’t lose the semester, signed up for a full load of half term intensive courses. . then i went to a top business school (wharton) to only end up at a whack ass marketing analytics job i hated. i wanted to be in marketing strategy and creative, and the jobs i wanted were in new york. my traditional pakistani immigrant parents made me move back home to the bay. so i literally took the job that paid me the highest and dealt with it. for four years. . my parents also said i couldn’t live on my own til i got married. finally making that stand for myself— after explosive arguments and real threats to my relationship with my family— changed my life forever. i moved from the suburbs to san francisco for a few years. . then i got fired. other best thing that changed my life. moved to nyc 8 years ago almost to the day. became a freelance photographer. i taught myself that, too. . after some time i realized that photography alone wasn’t fulfilling me. last 4 years or so i’ve been searching for deeper meaning, a rich + holistic + multifaceted work life, and what exactly my higher calling looks like. it’s required a lot of patience. i’ve got some answers, and i have a lot more questions. . potential morals: . ya girl been on the internet since earthlink and prodigy. middle school. we old. . the journey is vast. . <3

i’ve been hearing the word “negative” a lot in the wellness space recently; negative feelings, negative energy, negative people, negative habits, etcetera.
.
to call something negative is to negate it— to remove credence and worthiness from it. it is a dangerous judgment that we casually make on all sorts of things, people, and situations on a daily basis.
.
as you may have read on a couple of my recent posts on permission and empowerment, i believe our words impact our subconscious and well-being more than we realize.
.
what actually happens when label our feelings, for example, as “negative?” well, our subconscious becomes conditioned to believe that these particular feelings suck. and then we may be led to believe that we suck, or are weak, or are failures. it doesn’t matter if these beliefs reach our conscious minds or not— our subconscious, the chief control center that pulls our lil human puppet strings, will be operating on these beliefs.
.
okay, so let’s say a person’s subconscious has decided they are whack as hell because they have challenging feelings they’ve judged as “negative” (and then probably suppressed or brushed aside). let’s say that this person’s conscious mind believes that they mostly like themselves. let’s posit this person also happens to be simultaneously living their best life on the outside— because that high-functioning “fight” of fight-flight-freeze fame is some real ass shit when your subconscious is trying to overcome your conditioning by giving you the illusion of safety...
.
what can happen from here is that the suppressed emotions and unchecked self-judgments can turn into mental or physical illness. they can also turn into chronic, seemingly random “the world is against me” life patterns— in relationships, career, whatever. these are classic examples of stagnant or blocked energy/qi/life force being expressed via the body-mind connection.
.
(continued in comments | 1/3)

2019-04-26 22:39

423 54

 

i’ve been hearing the word “negative” a lot in the wellness space recently; negative feelings, negative energy, negative people, negative habits, etcetera. . to call something negative is to negate it— to remove credence and worthiness from it. it is a dangerous judgment that we casually make on all sorts of things, people, and situations on a daily basis. . as you may have read on a couple of my recent posts on permission and empowerment, i believe our words impact our subconscious and well-being more than we realize. . what actually happens when label our feelings, for example, as “negative” well, our subconscious becomes conditioned to believe that these particular feelings suck. and then we may be led to believe that we suck, or are weak, or are failures. it doesn’t matter if these beliefs reach our conscious minds or not— our subconscious, the chief control center that pulls our lil human puppet strings, will be operating on these beliefs. . okay, so let’s say a person’s subconscious has decided they are whack as hell because they have challenging feelings they’ve judged as “negative” (and then probably suppressed or brushed aside). let’s say that this person’s conscious mind believes that they mostly like themselves. let’s posit this person also happens to be simultaneously living their best life on the outside— because that high-functioning “fight” of fight-flight-freeze fame is some real ass shit when your subconscious is trying to overcome your conditioning by giving you the illusion of safety... . what can happen from here is that the suppressed emotions and unchecked self-judgments can turn into mental or physical illness. they can also turn into chronic, seemingly random “the world is against me” life patterns— in relationships, career, whatever. these are classic examples of stagnant or blocked energy/qi/life force being expressed via the body-mind connection. . (continued in comments | 1/3)

remember to exhale. | some years ago, a therapist told me that i tend to subconsciously hold my breath. i learned that this habit comes from subconscious anxiety (probably amongst other things) and that such limiting of my oxygen intake can erode my health over time. i was paying attention.
.
now when i catch myself— which is typically daily— i let out a big, big exhale.
.
and then i let in a big deep breath and exhale again— slowly or swiftly, whatever is needed in the moment.
.
i often say to myself, “exhale exhale exhale.”
.
this becomes a pretty powerful opportunity for in-the-moment awareness as well. i might ask myself:
.
what am i “holding my breath” about?
.
or, what am i holding onto?
.
what am i afraid will happen?
.
is there something i’m secretly dreading?
.
what am i hiding from?
.
what might be making me feel tense or uneasy?
.
do i feel unsafe right now? why?
.
am i disallowing flow and trust in this moment somehow?
.
am i simply holding onto generic anxiety because that’s what i’m used to?
.
what often arises upon answering any of these questions is a realization of some sort of subconscious “clenching.” typically, this clenching— or bracing— is the result of repetitive thoughts or beliefs about the “reality” of our world, our lives, ourselves being erroneously deemed truth and subsequently embedded as a broken record in our subconscious.
.
once we recognize this subconscious fight or flight (or freeze) loop is silently draining our life force, our exhale allows us to gently recognize and release our false narratives, moment by moment.
.
exhale and let go, loves. i’m doing it right here with you <3

2019-04-24 20:50

476 38

 

remember to exhale. | some years ago, a therapist told me that i tend to subconsciously hold my breath. i learned that this habit comes from subconscious anxiety (probably amongst other things) and that such limiting of my oxygen intake can erode my health over time. i was paying attention. . now when i catch myself— which is typically daily— i let out a big, big exhale. . and then i let in a big deep breath and exhale again— slowly or swiftly, whatever is needed in the moment. . i often say to myself, “exhale exhale exhale.” . this becomes a pretty powerful opportunity for in-the-moment awareness as well. i might ask myself: . what am i “holding my breath” about . or, what am i holding onto . what am i afraid will happen . is there something i’m secretly dreading . what am i hiding from . what might be making me feel tense or uneasy . do i feel unsafe right now why . am i disallowing flow and trust in this moment somehow . am i simply holding onto generic anxiety because that’s what i’m used to . what often arises upon answering any of these questions is a realization of some sort of subconscious “clenching.” typically, this clenching— or bracing— is the result of repetitive thoughts or beliefs about the “reality” of our world, our lives, ourselves being erroneously deemed truth and subsequently embedded as a broken record in our subconscious. . once we recognize this subconscious fight or flight (or freeze) loop is silently draining our life force, our exhale allows us to gently recognize and release our false narratives, moment by moment. . exhale and let go, loves. i’m doing it right here with you <3

<3 // seen.

2019-04-17 20:25

914 32

 

<3 // seen.

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