LOVE. It is why I do what I do. At the same time that I say it is all out of love, it is tremendously, absolutely much deeper than that. ...
My journey began long ago, a few months after I was born to a mother and father who were not well, and so could not keep me, their families made them give me up for adoption. The knowing of that as a child, into adolescence and even into adulthood was confusing and frustrating because I never could fully understand the place from which, and the faces from which I came from.
I was lost. For a long time I was a lost soul, never truly able to find my footing, though creative outlets were always a safe and saving grace.
And then. Then I became a mother for the first time. Only, I never got to hear her cries, never would feel her warm skin against mine, never see her open her sweet little eyes. My first, my Birdie was still, so still and yet the most beautiful and perfect baby I had ever seen.
That loss shattered my heart. It became a million, trillion, bazillion pieces on the floor. My loss profoundly changed me, shook me to my core, to my soul and beyond. I went dark and put down the camera. For a very long time.
Then, a miracle happened.
My first living child was born, it was unbelievable, could it really be My baby is alive Yes! Not only did I get to hear his cries, but I got to feel his warm skin, to hold him for always...I didn’t have to say goodbye. That child, my first living child...I tell you he was like a Buddha to my soul. Just his presence. No words needed, not even now.
I picked up my camera again. I had found my footing. Being a mother, it was my calling, my truest inspiration. I was listening, I still am.
Surprise! Living child number two! So alert, so sweet, so snuggly. This little peanut, has become so wide eyed and rambunctious as he grows, making life so wild and beautiful. ...
It is because of my children, all three of them...that I do what I do. These little beings have shown me who I am, every single day. I am inspired by their fearlessness, their curiosity, their creativity, their empathy, compassion, love and understanding. ...
[More in the comments]
Thanks for the reminder, Boost Juice 🙏
Ready Set Go... This weekend, I'm dancing to the beat of Health, Wellness and dōTERRA Essential Oils with the beautiful humans on the Gold Coast and in Brisbane.
Let's dance 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
Zoo trip with the family (and the rest of Kansas City) today. 🤷
All of sudden Winchester is obsessed with the things you put your head in, Coralie got to see her lions, and Aria slept and ate pretty well. I ended in pain. But we really had a fun day out!!! 🙌🙌
While trying to nurse an overstimulated Aria, I got up and left the lion vieiwng to find a quieter spot since it clearly wasn't working out. 3 people came to tell me "Good for you!", "You go girl!", and "I wish I was as brave." I never thought of myself as brave for feeding my baby when she needs to be fed but I appreciate what she was saying. And you bet I encouraged her to feed her baby wish ever way was easiest (bottle or breast, cover or no cover, whatever) for her and the baby... Not everyone else. 💪
You know which interaction was the most encouraging The one where the woman in her 70's walked out of her way to tell me "Good job!" for following baby's lead to leave the loud space and for breastfeeding in public. 😲❤️😭😍
Why was she the most encouraging
Because most of the judgement I feel comes from older mothers. Not typically ones in this stage or maybe I just hear their voice louder but really.... Because we need you older mom's to come along side us younger mom's and encourage us in caring for our babies. ❤️
Anyway!!! My time in my pain bath is up and I wasn't expecting to write about that... It really was a fun family day out and I'm grateful for the blessing to get to do it!😝