Lots of changes around here this week. We added hardwood floors to our three bedrooms and had the rooms painted. All the contents of the rooms has been in every other room in our house in the meantime. We’re slowly putting the rooms back together. This one is semi-complete. Ava loves all things feline. Cougars, cheetahs, ocelots....she wanted her room to reflect this. This is what we’ve come up with. I’m kinda loving it and wanting to stay in here too. I’ll put together some links soon. 💗 We’re healing together, grieving together and establishing a new way of living with our beloved Gabriel. 🙏🏼
All He sees is sirens
Inter generational violence
Another day on the run
Another crime under the sun
All he sees is sirens
sending chills down his spine
A stairway to the basement
Only darkness he finds
Alcoholism and drug dependency
Coping skills from a child’s misery
A body with a radar off the charts
A mind built for war when love departs
Safety was a slogan, mission statement at school
At the same institution he was labeled a fool
Cops called him trouble yet gave no solution
Another fucking battery was their resolution
Systemic treason in a family environment
Funny how kids are the blame of a tyrant
Self worth came in vouchers so they could be eating
Emotional intelligence came adrift with a beating
The contribution to society was being welfare’s collection
A virus for the cure a gangrenous infection
Role models came in a wave of criminal activity
Monkey see, then they do, ceasing opportunity
Call him a thief with no food at the table
Starving for affection, in a telegraph cable
Nursing a mother o.d’ed on medication
her boyfriends caressing was a fist in a facing
Home after home or in a women’s refuge
Foster care, on the streets, groomed a recluse
Security came in codependent ways
Couldn’t embrace their love no trust in the days
Sexual predator ravaged his soul
A puppet of lust used like a doll
All He see is sirens chasing
Of to the lock up that’ll mend his bones
Got a record on the cards
A history of violence
The screams in his dreams
Yesterday won’t silence
All he sees is sirens chasing him home
He just needed love
Someone to trust on the phone
Dialed triple zero emergency was true
Send him a hug, this boys almost through
A new medication so the sirens will cease
He look out to sea, breathing what is peace!
The door from this basement
A light of amazement
A new way a days spent
A new sound he made it!
Takes the first step up to a life he imagined
He has faith in his heart that’s never wavering
A feeling he had, even as a kid
A stage he can play
A role being big!
A man on a mission
To stop all this pain
A hug for a stranger
No need knowing his name.
A sense of belonging
A tribe, a community.
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Emotions come in waves like the Ocean and the water that pushes and pulls. We play as a witness. As the waves crash, we feel the intensity between the inserts of our skin. Our feet being engulfed by sand, sometimes we suffer in these emotions.
Naturally, we love to hold on, but we can’t hold onto water. Trying to do so makes us feel like we’re drowning and this is when we feel stuck.
As a witness, we learn to surrender and we learn to play in the beauty of our mess. The moment we breathe into our own imperfections, we blossom and we form.
Like waves crashing into the shore, emotions come and go. Emotions guide us and although sometimes we experience a negative feeling, we find light in the darkest places of our mind.
Negative emotions are just intense emotions. We need to thank them for protecting us and then we can separate ourselves from them. Instead of trying to run away from them, we need to soak ourselves in vulnerability to grow.
To anyone who is reading this, if you are going through a tough time or just want someone to listen, don’t be afraid to reach out. Thank you for reading ❤️