Images about: #loss (1541433 posts)

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day.

This touched me and my wife over 8 years ago. At a routine 20 week scan our was son was diagnosed with hydrocephalus that caused his brain to completely under-develop. We were advised to abort the pregnant immediately as our son would be born with such severe disability if he even survived the birth at all.
He was born 20 weeks early after his life was aborted. 
It was an incredibly difficult time for us and the feelings simply can't be described.
Thankfully now we have two precious, beautiful daughters that continue to amaze me every day. 
Be thankful for the children and family you have and never take any of them for granted.

 #pregnancyandinfantlossday #stillbirth #loss #children #family

2019-10-15 19:59   0 0

 

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day. This touched me and my wife over 8 years ago. At a routine 20 week scan our was son was diagnosed with hydrocephalus that caused his brain to completely under-develop. We were advised to abort the pregnant immediately as our son would be born with such severe disability if he even survived the birth at all. He was born 20 weeks early after his life was aborted. It was an incredibly difficult time for us and the feelings simply can't be described. Thankfully now we have two precious, beautiful daughters that continue to amaze me every day. Be thankful for the children and family you have and never take any of them for granted. #pregnancyandinfantlossday #stillbirth #loss #children #family

Remembering all of the babies born sleeping today and always. Our candles are lit for the International Wave of Light 2019 and our beautiful Millie Bear and Elsie May are sending bear hugs too. Love and light to you all xxxx #lwh #liverpoolwomenshospital #honeysuckleteam #lwhhoneysuckle #internationalwaveoflight #waveoflight #waveoflight2019 #BLAW #BLAW2019 #blawoutofsight #bereavementsupport #love #lossofababy #loss #grief #miscarriage #1in4 #angelbabies #angelmommy #angeldaddy #saytheirnames #saytheirname #breakthesilence #Dileas #Jesse #Dana #Jude xxxx

2019-10-15 19:58   4 0

 

Remembering all of the babies born sleeping today and always. Our candles are lit for the International Wave of Light 2019 and our beautiful Millie Bear and Elsie May are sending bear hugs too. Love and light to you all xxxx #lwh #liverpoolwomenshospital #honeysuckleteam #lwhhoneysuckle #internationalwaveoflight #waveoflight #waveoflight2019 #BLAW #BLAW2019 #blawoutofsight #bereavementsupport #love #lossofababy #loss #grief #miscarriage #1in4 #angelbabies #angelmommy #angeldaddy #saytheirnames #saytheirname #breakthesilence #Dileas #Jesse #Dana #Jude xxxx

Card of the week. The 10 of wands. The number 10 is the end of a cycle, the end of a journey. Is this a journey you directed yourself? Where do you stand now at the end of it? 🥅

Are you feeling full and fulfilled or burdened by what you are carrying? 🧳With achievement comes responsibility. Sometimes we focus so much on the achievement that we forget the latter. 👀

When I see the 10 of wands it makes me ask:
🌙 where have I come from to get to where I am?
🌙 are the responsibilities that go along with my accomplishment becoming a burden? How are they affecting me?
🌙 should I take action to delegate responsibilities?
🌙 do I need to shift my goal if it didn’t turn out to be what I originally had in mind?
🌙 do I need to focus on finding gratitude for my accomplishments?

 #tarotwithchalice #tarottherapy #tarottribe #tarotthursday #tarotpsychotherapy #tarotpsychology #jungian #psychotherapy #expressivemodalities #psychology #spiritual #subconsciousmind #tarotcards #10 #wands #10ofwands #tenofwands #tarotintherapy #grief #loss #accomplishment #burden #responsibility #gratitude #journey #completion

2019-10-15 19:57   0 0

 

Card of the week. The 10 of wands. The number 10 is the end of a cycle, the end of a journey. Is this a journey you directed yourself Where do you stand now at the end of it 🥅 Are you feeling full and fulfilled or burdened by what you are carrying 🧳With achievement comes responsibility. Sometimes we focus so much on the achievement that we forget the latter. 👀 When I see the 10 of wands it makes me ask: 🌙 where have I come from to get to where I am 🌙 are the responsibilities that go along with my accomplishment becoming a burden How are they affecting me 🌙 should I take action to delegate responsibilities 🌙 do I need to shift my goal if it didn’t turn out to be what I originally had in mind 🌙 do I need to focus on finding gratitude for my accomplishments #tarotwithchalice #tarottherapy #tarottribe #tarotthursday #tarotpsychotherapy #tarotpsychology #jungian #psychotherapy #expressivemodalities #psychology #spiritual #subconsciousmind #tarotcards #10 #wands #10ofwands #tenofwands #tarotintherapy #grief #loss #accomplishment #burden #responsibility #gratitude #journey #completion

Some candles are not burned one moment, but for hours at the time. 
Some stories are not just stories, but stick with us for days. 
Some baby's didn't get the chance to live, but live in us for all the years to come.
My heart is with all those mothers I've met or haven't met who carry such a candle, such a story and such baby's in their heart.
 #thewaveoflight #babylossawareness #19pm #candle #thecreativejournal #creatiefdagboek #mothers #baby #loss

2019-10-15 19:57   0 0

 

Some candles are not burned one moment, but for hours at the time. Some stories are not just stories, but stick with us for days. Some baby's didn't get the chance to live, but live in us for all the years to come. My heart is with all those mothers I've met or haven't met who carry such a candle, such a story and such baby's in their heart. #thewaveoflight #babylossawareness #19pm #candle #thecreativejournal #creatiefdagboek #mothers #baby #loss

These hands that draw colourful doodles lamenting the motherhood journey...are the same hands that have held the immense honor of holding tiny souls that did not get to stay. 
In my relatively short midwifery career so far, I’ve worked a lot with parents and families experiencing the loss of their children. Some only weeks into pregnancy,others within in hours or days of their birth. 
The pain is palpable but it is the love you remember more than anything. I can still vividly see those Mammy’s cuddling their still babies, the daddies picking out the first outfit. Honoring their children with every ‘normal’ act they could. I remember families...naming the children they lost only weeks into their pregnancy and acknowledging them in their family history forever more. 
It is a journey none of us ever dream of taking ...but many do. Tonight,this candle and #waveoflight is for every little life that didn’t get to stay 💗💙.
.
.
 #waveoflight #pregnancyloss #midwife #infantloss #octoberpregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #stillbornbutstillloved #miscarriage #loss #midwifery

2019-10-15 19:56   48 3

 

These hands that draw colourful doodles lamenting the motherhood journey...are the same hands that have held the immense honor of holding tiny souls that did not get to stay. In my relatively short midwifery career so far, I’ve worked a lot with parents and families experiencing the loss of their children. Some only weeks into pregnancy,others within in hours or days of their birth. The pain is palpable but it is the love you remember more than anything. I can still vividly see those Mammy’s cuddling their still babies, the daddies picking out the first outfit. Honoring their children with every ‘normal’ act they could. I remember families...naming the children they lost only weeks into their pregnancy and acknowledging them in their family history forever more. It is a journey none of us ever dream of taking ...but many do. Tonight,this candle and #waveoflight is for every little life that didn’t get to stay 💗💙. . . #waveoflight #pregnancyloss #midwife #infantloss #octoberpregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #stillbornbutstillloved #miscarriage #loss #midwifery

Our little Wave of Light tonight , remembering all those who have suffered the loss 💔 always in our thoughts and hearts every single day #waveoflight #loss

2019-10-15 19:51   0 0

 

Our little Wave of Light tonight , remembering all those who have suffered the loss 💔 always in our thoughts and hearts every single day #waveoflight #loss

Remembrance of a loss on "World Miscarriage Day"
.
You grew in my womb
For 7 weeks and 2 days.
Such a short while.
Yet it was enough
To dream up a million days.
I imagined your tiny hands,
Your crooked smile.
I thought of where to place your crib
Maybe pink blankets this time.
I imagined long chaotic days,
Restless nights, and contentment
Just us .
I dared to dream of an ever after
I dared to complain
About normal pregnancy events
I dared to fret over my weight gain.
Perhaps I forgot gratitude
For just a while.
But it was for just a while.
Because you were my miracle.
My body nourished you
My soul cherished each day with you.
It felt like you made it
Against all odds.
I foolishly believed in only the good days to come.
.
I lay on that cold bed
In a stuffy hospital room.
With a probe inside me
And the doctor’s brow furrowed.
She told me you had grown all along
You were perfect,
My heart swelled with pride.
But you heart had refused to beat.
Or perhaps ceased to beat hours prior.
A missed abortion.
A beat.
I lay there, staring at that still screen.
My breath caught, perhaps my heart stopped too.
Wondering about the moment you ceased being
Was I laughing then, oblivious
To the exit of life, from within me.
I stared at the fetal pole, the yolk sac,limb buds.
Oh that terrible stillness,
Instead of a beating heart.
I didn’t shed tears then
I even smiled.
I took your loss
With the grace of a woman,
Not the grief of a child
But thunder rang in my ears,
And waves crashed in my chest.
You couldn’t be born, my love.
You won’t have a grave either.
All you’ll leave behind
Is a grainy picture of your ultrasound
A pregnancy stick, I couldn’t throw away.
A video of my pregnancy announcement.
Keepsakes of sorts.
I know you are gone.
The grief comes in waves.
Sometimes, as tears
Sometimes, a lump in my throat,
Sometimes, an ache in my heart.
Phantom echoes of unsung lullabies
Sometimes, a guilt in my soul..
Sometimes, as a prayer
But mostly, acceptance.
I am grateful for these moments
The sorrow that catches me unguarded.
Because thats all I have left of you...
.
 #worldmiscarriageday #loss #poetry #poetsofinstagram #remembrance #prayer

2019-10-15 19:50   1 0

 

Remembrance of a loss on "World Miscarriage Day" . You grew in my womb For 7 weeks and 2 days. Such a short while. Yet it was enough To dream up a million days. I imagined your tiny hands, Your crooked smile. I thought of where to place your crib Maybe pink blankets this time. I imagined long chaotic days, Restless nights, and contentment Just us . I dared to dream of an ever after I dared to complain About normal pregnancy events I dared to fret over my weight gain. Perhaps I forgot gratitude For just a while. But it was for just a while. Because you were my miracle. My body nourished you My soul cherished each day with you. It felt like you made it Against all odds. I foolishly believed in only the good days to come. . I lay on that cold bed In a stuffy hospital room. With a probe inside me And the doctor’s brow furrowed. She told me you had grown all along You were perfect, My heart swelled with pride. But you heart had refused to beat. Or perhaps ceased to beat hours prior. A missed abortion. A beat. I lay there, staring at that still screen. My breath caught, perhaps my heart stopped too. Wondering about the moment you ceased being Was I laughing then, oblivious To the exit of life, from within me. I stared at the fetal pole, the yolk sac,limb buds. Oh that terrible stillness, Instead of a beating heart. I didn’t shed tears then I even smiled. I took your loss With the grace of a woman, Not the grief of a child But thunder rang in my ears, And waves crashed in my chest. You couldn’t be born, my love. You won’t have a grave either. All you’ll leave behind Is a grainy picture of your ultrasound A pregnancy stick, I couldn’t throw away. A video of my pregnancy announcement. Keepsakes of sorts. I know you are gone. The grief comes in waves. Sometimes, as tears Sometimes, a lump in my throat, Sometimes, an ache in my heart. Phantom echoes of unsung lullabies Sometimes, a guilt in my soul.. Sometimes, as a prayer But mostly, acceptance. I am grateful for these moments The sorrow that catches me unguarded. Because thats all I have left of you... . #worldmiscarriageday #loss #poetry #poetsofinstagram #remembrance #prayer

Tonight, for a fleeting moment, let me pretend that you are still mine. As I close my eyes, I feel you, forever connected in ways that have refashioned me. Your fingertips are etched into every curve of my heart and what should have been leeches from my very bones. The smell of you still lingers and through my tears in the darkness, I see clearest. At night, technicolour hope bleeds through my dreams. No matter how much I goad the heavens to shriek back at me, the answer is always the same. You. 
I wish I could hold you tightly and whisper in your ear all the ways that you have saved me. You are the hope in the palm of my hand and the warmth of shared glances. Because of you Henrietta, I will always believe in love. #waveoflight #waveoflight2019 #childloss #neonatalloss #nhs #organdonation #organdonor #grief #loss #daughter #family #love #hope #strength #words #wordstoliveby #mother #instamood

2019-10-15 19:49   83 26

 

Tonight, for a fleeting moment, let me pretend that you are still mine. As I close my eyes, I feel you, forever connected in ways that have refashioned me. Your fingertips are etched into every curve of my heart and what should have been leeches from my very bones. The smell of you still lingers and through my tears in the darkness, I see clearest. At night, technicolour hope bleeds through my dreams. No matter how much I goad the heavens to shriek back at me, the answer is always the same. You. I wish I could hold you tightly and whisper in your ear all the ways that you have saved me. You are the hope in the palm of my hand and the warmth of shared glances. Because of you Henrietta, I will always believe in love. #waveoflight #waveoflight2019 #childloss #neonatalloss #nhs #organdonation #organdonor #grief #loss #daughter #family #love #hope #strength #words #wordstoliveby #mother #instamood

On September 25th 2014, I found out I was pregnant for the first time. I was in Pittsburgh for work, and just hadn’t been feeling right. It seemed crazy that I could actually be pregnant as we had just started trying to conceive, but after buying out the rest aisle at CVS, it was true! I was pregnant! We were so excited and did all the fun things like making cute pregnancy announcements for our families and talking about baby names.

A couple of weeks later, it was clear something wasn’t right. The doctor ordered blood word and bed rest and assured me I was young and healthy and there was probably nothing to worry about.

We cancelled a long weekend trip to DC so that I could rest and we hoped for the best. On October 15th we went for an ultrasound. There was no heartbeat and no embryo detected. I remember choking back tears walking to the car and making it inside before sobbing uncontrollably like a small child. I knew in my heart I had miscarried our sweet baby, and this was confirmed two days later. 
That afternoon while waiting at the hospital for a D&C, I was face to face with a nurse clearly far in her pregnancy. When she asked what procedure I was having and I explained, she told me that a D&C was “effectively an abortion” (it is not and there are a slew of medical reasons a woman could have this procedure done absent a failed pregnancy) and that I should trust God to have taken care of this.

The next four years were a blur of second and third miscarriages, fertility tests, being told everything “looks fine” and finally finding out that I have half of my uterus (yes ladies and gents - it’s a thing). I was told by one doctor if I ever were pregnant with twins I would need to travel to NYC to terminate one because carrying multiples would be life threatening for me. It was suggested I take breast cancer medication in hopes of stimulating my eggs for IUI. 
I was exhausted and deeply heartbroken. I felt I had put my heart and mind and body through the ringer- smiling politely while friends got insta pregnant, planning and going to baby showers, getting in even better physical shape, going to grief counseling (continued in comments)

2019-10-15 19:48   2 3

 

On September 25th 2014, I found out I was pregnant for the first time. I was in Pittsburgh for work, and just hadn’t been feeling right. It seemed crazy that I could actually be pregnant as we had just started trying to conceive, but after buying out the rest aisle at CVS, it was true! I was pregnant! We were so excited and did all the fun things like making cute pregnancy announcements for our families and talking about baby names. A couple of weeks later, it was clear something wasn’t right. The doctor ordered blood word and bed rest and assured me I was young and healthy and there was probably nothing to worry about. We cancelled a long weekend trip to DC so that I could rest and we hoped for the best. On October 15th we went for an ultrasound. There was no heartbeat and no embryo detected. I remember choking back tears walking to the car and making it inside before sobbing uncontrollably like a small child. I knew in my heart I had miscarried our sweet baby, and this was confirmed two days later. That afternoon while waiting at the hospital for a D&C, I was face to face with a nurse clearly far in her pregnancy. When she asked what procedure I was having and I explained, she told me that a D&C was “effectively an abortion” (it is not and there are a slew of medical reasons a woman could have this procedure done absent a failed pregnancy) and that I should trust God to have taken care of this. The next four years were a blur of second and third miscarriages, fertility tests, being told everything “looks fine” and finally finding out that I have half of my uterus (yes ladies and gents - it’s a thing). I was told by one doctor if I ever were pregnant with twins I would need to travel to NYC to terminate one because carrying multiples would be life threatening for me. It was suggested I take breast cancer medication in hopes of stimulating my eggs for IUI. I was exhausted and deeply heartbroken. I felt I had put my heart and mind and body through the ringer- smiling politely while friends got insta pregnant, planning and going to baby showers, getting in even better physical shape, going to grief counseling (continued in comments)

THIS MUST BE WHAT IT’S LIKE cont. 
A storm.
The sky above you –
black.
The water around you –
Black.
You can’t tell one from the other.
Lost.
You floated so far out,
You can no longer see the shore.
The ocean is angry, and
It rocks you back and forth,
Harder and harder.
The waves are over your head
And they pull you under.
You can’t see and you can’t breathe,
The water fills your lungs
And you choke.
You flail your arms, trying to reach
The surface, but someone,
Was it you, has tied weights
To your feet.
You kick and you swim
Hard as you can,
But the harder you kick,
The deeper they pull you
And you go down
and down
and down
And you go so deep until – 
You are nothing. 
 #poetry #poem #addiction #whatitslike #mother #grief #loss #love #coping #anniversary #roughdraft

2019-10-15 19:47   3 0

 

THIS MUST BE WHAT IT’S LIKE cont. A storm. The sky above you – black. The water around you – Black. You can’t tell one from the other. Lost. You floated so far out, You can no longer see the shore. The ocean is angry, and It rocks you back and forth, Harder and harder. The waves are over your head And they pull you under. You can’t see and you can’t breathe, The water fills your lungs And you choke. You flail your arms, trying to reach The surface, but someone, Was it you, has tied weights To your feet. You kick and you swim Hard as you can, But the harder you kick, The deeper they pull you And you go down and down and down And you go so deep until – You are nothing. #poetry #poem #addiction #whatitslike #mother #grief #loss #love #coping #anniversary #roughdraft

In honor of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. This photo was taken on July 26, 2019 this year. Here I was 7.5 weeks pregnant. It would be a week later I found out I miscarried. It would then be followed by 3 weeks of carrying around my deceased baby before a D & C was performed. I documented my journey so other women didn’t feel like they were alone. It’s hard enough as it is. God bless you all 💝💝 #miscarriage #nationalpregnancyandinfantlossday #loss #traumatic #nationalpregnancyandinfantloss #pregnancy #motherhood #mommy #mom #momlife

2019-10-15 19:46   1 0

 

In honor of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. This photo was taken on July 26, 2019 this year. Here I was 7.5 weeks pregnant. It would be a week later I found out I miscarried. It would then be followed by 3 weeks of carrying around my deceased baby before a D & C was performed. I documented my journey so other women didn’t feel like they were alone. It’s hard enough as it is. God bless you all 💝💝 #miscarriage #nationalpregnancyandinfantlossday #loss #traumatic #nationalpregnancyandinfantloss #pregnancy #motherhood #mommy #mom #momlife

I wish I could have held you. 
I wish I could have seen your face. 
I wish I could have heard your laugh. 
I wish I could have heard you call me mama. 
Thinking of all those with lost little ones. 
Sending love to all those who's pain is raw
A wave of light and love in the darkest times. 
Remembering my two little ones we never met, but loved all the same. #waveoflight #waveoflight2019 #miscarriage #remembering #loss #pregnancyloss #mumssupportingmums #motherhoodunplugged #oneinfour #speakthetruth

2019-10-15 19:45   10 3

 

I wish I could have held you. I wish I could have seen your face. I wish I could have heard your laugh. I wish I could have heard you call me mama. Thinking of all those with lost little ones. Sending love to all those who's pain is raw A wave of light and love in the darkest times. Remembering my two little ones we never met, but loved all the same. #waveoflight #waveoflight2019 #miscarriage #remembering #loss #pregnancyloss #mumssupportingmums #motherhoodunplugged #oneinfour #speakthetruth

 #waveoflight #miracles #foreverlove #rainbows #baby #loss a wave of light for all the mamas of angel babies, for all the mamas of rainbow babies and for all@the mamas of babies taken too soon, and for those lucky lucky few that have never known the heartbreak of saying goodbye to a baby. For all the miracles that their our in the world and for all the mamas stay strong

2019-10-15 19:45   1 0

 

#waveoflight #miracles #foreverlove #rainbows #baby #loss a wave of light for all the mamas of angel babies, for all the mamas of rainbow babies and for all@the mamas of babies taken too soon, and for those lucky lucky few that have never known the heartbreak of saying goodbye to a baby. For all the miracles that their our in the world and for all the mamas stay strong

My baby Jayvyn would have been 2 years old in december. He passed away inside me, 4 days after his due date...A pain and loss I had never felt before. It's something that people don't talk about but yet it is so common, I am 1 in 4. 
Any signs of reduced movements in pregnancy, please get checked out. Don't wait and always follow your instincts and intuition. I will be lighting a candle for Jayvyn and all the other babies that left us too soon.🕯💜 #stillbornstillloved #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #pregnancyandinfantloss #baby #loss #stillborn #pregnancy #love #son #boy #nia9 #angelbaby #angel

2019-10-15 19:45   3 2

 

My baby Jayvyn would have been 2 years old in december. He passed away inside me, 4 days after his due date...A pain and loss I had never felt before. It's something that people don't talk about but yet it is so common, I am 1 in 4. Any signs of reduced movements in pregnancy, please get checked out. Don't wait and always follow your instincts and intuition. I will be lighting a candle for Jayvyn and all the other babies that left us too soon.🕯💜 #stillbornstillloved #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #pregnancyandinfantloss #baby #loss #stillborn #pregnancy #love #son #boy #nia9 #angelbaby #angel

JUST LIKE YOU cont.
I looked in the mirror today.
My freckles popped
Against my pale skin,
A simple black t-shirt,
Jeans, tennis shoes.
My hair thrown up
In a messy bun.
And I thought,
I look just like you.
I don’t know when it happened. 
I opened my mouth today.
“Will you please pick up your shoes?”
I asked him.
“I’m the only one around here who ever does anything.”
I laughed.
And I thought,
I sound just like you.
I don’t know when it happened. 
A driver cut me off today.
I cursed him
Out the window,
Flipped him the bird.
And I thought,
I act just like you.
I don’t know when it happened. 
I saw you today.
Thin as a rail,
Paler than usual.
Scabs and scars,
Eyes glazed over,
Slurred words. 
And I thought,
I don’t want to be just like you.
I know exactly when it happened.
 #poetry #poem #roughdraft #addiction #mother #love #life #loss #grief #coping #anniversary

2019-10-15 19:44   2 0

 

JUST LIKE YOU cont. I looked in the mirror today. My freckles popped Against my pale skin, A simple black t-shirt, Jeans, tennis shoes. My hair thrown up In a messy bun. And I thought, I look just like you. I don’t know when it happened. I opened my mouth today. “Will you please pick up your shoes” I asked him. “I’m the only one around here who ever does anything.” I laughed. And I thought, I sound just like you. I don’t know when it happened. A driver cut me off today. I cursed him Out the window, Flipped him the bird. And I thought, I act just like you. I don’t know when it happened. I saw you today. Thin as a rail, Paler than usual. Scabs and scars, Eyes glazed over, Slurred words. And I thought, I don’t want to be just like you. I know exactly when it happened. #poetry #poem #roughdraft #addiction #mother #love #life #loss #grief #coping #anniversary

I’ve been offline for a bit. Allow me to explain. The past few weeks have been an exercise in sitting with intense emotions and allowing myself rest and ease while in deep process. ::
Just a little over a week ago I found out a friend of mine, Justin, committed suicide. Justin was not only a friend but an integral part of my community and his absence, his sudden loss has been rippling through the community over the last week. His contribution to the Somatic Experiencing organization and Peter Levine’s Ergos Institute, is immeasurable and his kindness towards every individual he met, unmatched. My heart aches for him, the fact that he couldn’t reach out for help at his moment of need. I can learn to respect his choice but it will take me a long time to understand it. ::
Before this terrible news, I was reeling about sending my youngest son off to college and navigating with huge waves of grief around separation and life transitions.... My heart has been getting a serious workout!
::
I find that I am not longer willing or able to put on a mask and go about my day when I’m holding big things in my personal life. I can’tpretend I’m ok when I’m not. In the past week this has translated into cancelled appointments, lots of tears, asking for hugs and slowing way down. It has also meant that when someone has asked me how I was doing, they got a real answer: “I am hurting.” “Today is a bad day.” “I’m not ok.”
::
And more than ever I have discovered how important it is to have people in my life who not only welcome those authentic responses but are also wiling to sit with me in my vulnerability. I am grateful for my friends and family who have been there for me through these past few weeks. the connection to those who “get it” and get me and are ok with all of it has been a true gift!
::
That’s all I have for now. Today is an ok day. I’ll take it one day at a time and will keep you posted on my progress. Until then, be well. ❤️
•
•
•
•
 #authenticity #vulnerability #truetoself #grief #loss #suicide #suicideawareness #therapist #therapy #somatics #somaticexperiencing #traumaresolution #traumahealing #traumarecovery #reachoutforhelp #yourenotalone #community #support

2019-10-15 19:44   12 2

 

I’ve been offline for a bit. Allow me to explain. The past few weeks have been an exercise in sitting with intense emotions and allowing myself rest and ease while in deep process. :: Just a little over a week ago I found out a friend of mine, Justin, committed suicide. Justin was not only a friend but an integral part of my community and his absence, his sudden loss has been rippling through the community over the last week. His contribution to the Somatic Experiencing organization and Peter Levine’s Ergos Institute, is immeasurable and his kindness towards every individual he met, unmatched. My heart aches for him, the fact that he couldn’t reach out for help at his moment of need. I can learn to respect his choice but it will take me a long time to understand it. :: Before this terrible news, I was reeling about sending my youngest son off to college and navigating with huge waves of grief around separation and life transitions.... My heart has been getting a serious workout! :: I find that I am not longer willing or able to put on a mask and go about my day when I’m holding big things in my personal life. I can’tpretend I’m ok when I’m not. In the past week this has translated into cancelled appointments, lots of tears, asking for hugs and slowing way down. It has also meant that when someone has asked me how I was doing, they got a real answer: “I am hurting.” “Today is a bad day.” “I’m not ok.” :: And more than ever I have discovered how important it is to have people in my life who not only welcome those authentic responses but are also wiling to sit with me in my vulnerability. I am grateful for my friends and family who have been there for me through these past few weeks. the connection to those who “get it” and get me and are ok with all of it has been a true gift! :: That’s all I have for now. Today is an ok day. I’ll take it one day at a time and will keep you posted on my progress. Until then, be well. ❤️ • • • • #authenticity #vulnerability #truetoself #grief #loss #suicide #suicideawareness #therapist #therapy #somatics #somaticexperiencing #traumaresolution #traumahealing #traumarecovery #reachoutforhelp #yourenotalone #community #support

This blew my mind the first time I heard it. The worst that can happen to you is a feeling. Seriously. This is so amazing and so true, and so horrible all at the same time I just want to laugh.⁣
⁣
We are driven by our feelings. We all act out of how we are feeling right? Grief is so painful, and the way we associate or don't want to associate with that pain drives us to act in a certain way.⁣
⁣
Taking a honest look at how we are responding to our grief is scary, but can be amazing in our healing. This is not to judge ourselves and start beating ourselves up that we are doing it all wrong. But taking a step back and being absolutely honest with yourself. What are the feelings I'm having, and how I am coping with them? Remember, no judgement, only honesty.⁣
⁣
The first steps to taking action in your grief, and being somewhat in the driver seat of your grief is getting really clear and honest with yourself. We cannot get honest with ourselves if we are pretending we are okay when we are not.⁣
⁣
Brooke Castillo's podcast called @thelifecoachschool is amazing, and if you are not listening to it you should be!⁣
⁣
What do you think of this quote? Does it confuse you? Does it make sense? Does it terrify you?

2019-10-15 19:44   2 1

 

This blew my mind the first time I heard it. The worst that can happen to you is a feeling. Seriously. This is so amazing and so true, and so horrible all at the same time I just want to laugh.⁣ ⁣ We are driven by our feelings. We all act out of how we are feeling right Grief is so painful, and the way we associate or don't want to associate with that pain drives us to act in a certain way.⁣ ⁣ Taking a honest look at how we are responding to our grief is scary, but can be amazing in our healing. This is not to judge ourselves and start beating ourselves up that we are doing it all wrong. But taking a step back and being absolutely honest with yourself. What are the feelings I'm having, and how I am coping with them Remember, no judgement, only honesty.⁣ ⁣ The first steps to taking action in your grief, and being somewhat in the driver seat of your grief is getting really clear and honest with yourself. We cannot get honest with ourselves if we are pretending we are okay when we are not.⁣ ⁣ Brooke Castillo's podcast called @thelifecoachschool is amazing, and if you are not listening to it you should be!⁣ ⁣ What do you think of this quote Does it confuse you Does it make sense Does it terrify you

Global Day of Light - Today marks the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week and invites you to take part with the global ‘Wave of Light’. October 15 is also International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and is recognised across the world. 🧡One in four women will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime and nine babies are stillborn every day in the UK.🧡 The invitation is to light a candle and leave it burning for at least one hour in memory of all babies that have died too soon. You can do this individually or in a group, at home or in a communal space. 🧡Wherever you do this you will be joining a global ‘Wave of Light’ in memory of all the babies who lit up our lives for such a short time.

 #waveoflight #grief #loss #themindfulsoulcompany

2019-10-15 19:43   3 0

 

Global Day of Light - Today marks the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week and invites you to take part with the global ‘Wave of Light’. October 15 is also International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and is recognised across the world. 🧡One in four women will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime and nine babies are stillborn every day in the UK.🧡 The invitation is to light a candle and leave it burning for at least one hour in memory of all babies that have died too soon. You can do this individually or in a group, at home or in a communal space. 🧡Wherever you do this you will be joining a global ‘Wave of Light’ in memory of all the babies who lit up our lives for such a short time. #waveoflight #grief #loss #themindfulsoulcompany

I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. I never wanted a career because I knew I was created to stay at home and raise kiddos (maybe that’s why it took me forever to decide on a college major?). At a very young age I decided I wanted to be married at 20 (little girl me thought that that was a very grown up age) and have the first of my four kids by 21. I obviously had it all planned out perfectly.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But God crafted a much different journey for me than little kid me imagined.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was married at (almost) 30 and lost our first baby at 31. Seven more losses have followed and one beautiful rainbow baby. ⋒ I have nine children. Nine. And of those nine, I have the honor and joy of holding only one. Every single day I wake up excited that I get to do what I have always wanted and what I felt made to do—be Roman’s momma. But I also miss my other children. It is completely possible to be grieving and overflowing with joy at the same time.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. So as I snuggle my beautiful Roman Peter—awed, humbled, and overwhelmed with gratefulness at his joyful existence—I honor and remember my other eight:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🕯Cooper John
🕯Hope Elysia
🕯Selah Faith
🕯Mari Eva
🕯Miles Spurgeon
🕯Jack Carter
🕯Elijah Rowan
🕯Ellie Grace
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am sending love to all you mommas today who have lost your babies. Would you leave your baby’s name below so we can stand together in remembrance and honor them together? 🙏🏼💗💙🙏🏼
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
📷: @laurenhaley

2019-10-15 19:36   14 2

 

I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. I never wanted a career because I knew I was created to stay at home and raise kiddos (maybe that’s why it took me forever to decide on a college major). At a very young age I decided I wanted to be married at 20 (little girl me thought that that was a very grown up age) and have the first of my four kids by 21. I obviously had it all planned out perfectly. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But God crafted a much different journey for me than little kid me imagined. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I was married at (almost) 30 and lost our first baby at 31. Seven more losses have followed and one beautiful rainbow baby. ⋒ I have nine children. Nine. And of those nine, I have the honor and joy of holding only one. Every single day I wake up excited that I get to do what I have always wanted and what I felt made to do—be Roman’s momma. But I also miss my other children. It is completely possible to be grieving and overflowing with joy at the same time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. So as I snuggle my beautiful Roman Peter—awed, humbled, and overwhelmed with gratefulness at his joyful existence—I honor and remember my other eight: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 🕯Cooper John 🕯Hope Elysia 🕯Selah Faith 🕯Mari Eva 🕯Miles Spurgeon 🕯Jack Carter 🕯Elijah Rowan 🕯Ellie Grace ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I am sending love to all you mommas today who have lost your babies. Would you leave your baby’s name below so we can stand together in remembrance and honor them together 🙏🏼💗💙🙏🏼 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 📷: @laurenhaley

This week, Take Back Tuesday is a little extra special because October 15th is also National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 
1 in 4 families will be touched by loss of some sort in their lives. 
Mike and I lost our first baby in April of 2017 after I experienced a miscarriage at 13 weeks. 
You have all hurt with us as we attempt to navigate life without our angel baby, Olivia. 💜 To the mommas struggling with infertility, my heart is with you 💜 To the mommas that never got to meet their babies, my heart is with you 💜 To the mommas whose babies were born sleeping, my heart is with you
💜 To the mommas whose babies left Earth before us, my heart is with you 💜 To the daddies whose hearts are broken for their loss and their wives, I am grateful for you, and my heart is with you 💜 To the grandparents who are destroyed missing their grand babies and feeling helpless to heal their babies, we are lucky to have you, and my heart is with you 💜 To our tribe - you are unwavering and we are stronger every day because of you. Thank you for loving us, and loving Livvy the way you do 
If you are 1 in 4, I’m here for you. If you need someone to cry with, scream at, hug, or just sit in silence with someone who gets it: I am here for you. 
I read a stat once that under all the “perfect conditions” there is only a 30-something percent chance of getting pregnant each month. Combine that with 25%+ of families touched by loss and I am left with one major outcome: we are all miracles! We have all defied odds just by simply living. Let that sink in and if anything, remember to love yourself and give yourself a little extra grace today 💜 #takebacktuesday #1in4 #Iam1in4 #angelbaby #babyD #sidsawareness #sids #suid #loss #pregnancyloss #infantloss #lifeafterloss #grief #griefjourney #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #pregnancyabdinfantlossawarenessmonth

2019-10-15 14:03   30 4

 

This week, Take Back Tuesday is a little extra special because October 15th is also National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 1 in 4 families will be touched by loss of some sort in their lives. Mike and I lost our first baby in April of 2017 after I experienced a miscarriage at 13 weeks. You have all hurt with us as we attempt to navigate life without our angel baby, Olivia. 💜 To the mommas struggling with infertility, my heart is with you 💜 To the mommas that never got to meet their babies, my heart is with you 💜 To the mommas whose babies were born sleeping, my heart is with you 💜 To the mommas whose babies left Earth before us, my heart is with you 💜 To the daddies whose hearts are broken for their loss and their wives, I am grateful for you, and my heart is with you 💜 To the grandparents who are destroyed missing their grand babies and feeling helpless to heal their babies, we are lucky to have you, and my heart is with you 💜 To our tribe - you are unwavering and we are stronger every day because of you. Thank you for loving us, and loving Livvy the way you do If you are 1 in 4, I’m here for you. If you need someone to cry with, scream at, hug, or just sit in silence with someone who gets it: I am here for you. I read a stat once that under all the “perfect conditions” there is only a 30-something percent chance of getting pregnant each month. Combine that with 25%+ of families touched by loss and I am left with one major outcome: we are all miracles! We have all defied odds just by simply living. Let that sink in and if anything, remember to love yourself and give yourself a little extra grace today 💜 #takebacktuesday #1in4 #Iam1in4 #angelbaby #babyD #sidsawareness #sids #suid #loss #pregnancyloss #infantloss #lifeafterloss #grief #griefjourney #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #pregnancyabdinfantlossawarenessmonth