I got to know Alex during this weekend for my birthday celebration. He’s been dating my sister Amy for 5 years now. And this is the first time we actually talk and got to know each another. Due to the religious boundaries/mindset I had before, they both stayed away from me. They felt like they couldn’t be themselves around me before because I’d judge them and everything else along that line. Ever since I broke free from religion, Amy has opened up to me like never before. She feels comfortable around me and can talk to me about anything. That’s why I had invited Alex to my birthday party and he actually came out! He is such a wonderful human being!!! Extremely talented and has a great mindset! He’s great for my sister. Loves her dearly!!! I’m so happy for Amy. If it wasn’t for true freedom I’ve found, I wouldn’t have had such wonderful connections with people outside of what religion deemed as sinful people.
High functioning anxiety…. it has consumed me more times than I can count…
It looks like achievement…perfectionism…busyness.
But, when it sneaks out, it transforms into nervous habits like foot tapping, constantly scrolling through my Instagram feed… or email accounts, the list goes on and on.
If you look close enough …..you can spot it in unanswered text messages, nervous laughter, or jaw clenching. (which, of course, I solve with botox in my jaw and call it BEAUTY MAINTENANCE)
But, what you DO NOT see is the sickness in my stomach…the fear that comes over me with a last minute text message that I fear I might not respond to fast enough. ￼
The fear that I did not do ENOUGH today…even though I’ve worked 18- 20 hours.
High functioning anxiety is the voice in my head…that says “I’m not good enough…” “I haven’t done enough for my clients today...” “I’m a terrible friend…” “I’m not QUALIFIED to be doing what i’m doing….” “I’m so needy…” “Why would I say that” “Why would I ask THAT” “I don’t have my shi* together..” “Bad person” “Bad sister…” “Bad niece…” “Bad daughter…” “I’m not good enough.” “I’m not good enough.” “I will NEVER be good enough.” All the while, I appear calm. No one knows the debate that goes on inside my head…
WORK. SUCCESS. WORK.
Work…always channels MY never ending search for peace.
80% of the time, anxiety is my best friend. I can not LIVE without it…nor do I want to.
A doctor said I should take medication...I won’t.
It makes me ME and it also makes me better than my competitors.
I am successful because of my anxiety.
I don’t sleep unless I deliver the results or the goal that I set for myself or my business BECAUSE of my ANXIETY.
BUT…. 100% of the time …anxiety is the critical voice in my head.
It wakes me at 2am with a pounding heart to remind me that I have deadlines that are approaching or a friend that I forgot to call.
It tells me all the reasons that I can NOT achieve.
It’s silent anxiety attacks….hidden by smiles.
It’s when answering a text IMPULSIVELY is an act of bravery.
But, bravery is finding your own humanity in the anxiety….and in your weaknesses…
Hey South Florida, the guitar is ready! Will you be visiting the new & improved Hollywood Hard Rock Hotel soon
If you live nearby, how do you feel about the huge guitar
Property values rising
Let me know what you think!
I lack the self confidence ...⠀
This is one of the main problems women in their 20s face in 2019. ⠀
There's a global need for us to solve this, because sister you deserve it and its time to heal.⠀
Self confidence is formed by many external and internal factors.⠀
Some of which have been influenced by the "feedback" we have gotten through t our experiences. ⠀
Say for instance we tried to land a job, and at the day of the interview there's another woman that in our eyes is prettier than us. ⠀
This woman ends up getting the job, and the we star to believe it was because of the "fact" that she was prettier. ⠀
- Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, it could had been that she was more qualified by experience. ⠀
In any case, this is one instance in which our self-confidence may be affected.⠀
A series of such experiences mixed with the childhood factors helps to either increase or decrease our self confidence.⠀
AND the WE ARE ADULTS, and it's really big problem because it affects more than one area of our lives. ⠀
It affects us, professionally, personally, emotionally and most certainly at a social level. ⠀
SO what do we do to fix it ⠀
For many of us: NOTHING.⠀
What we should do tho, is HEAL. ⠀
It is possible to feel confident in ourselves again. ⠀
You build it from the bottom up, based on new beliefs and the healing of past wounds. ⠀
Sister, if you are ready for it I am here to guide you through this journey. Send me a DM, and let the journey begin.