#ja u bozanstvenoj Veneciji pre potapanja #carobna, jedinstvena, posebna Venecija i Italija #zelim svim srcem da potapanje i nevreme prestane i da opet na prolece uzivam sa svojima u carobnosti ovog unikatnog grada #neda volim nego obozavam Italiju #izabrala sam za Veneciju casual, turisticki stil👖💎💍💄🧥🧤🔜🇮🇹💯💖❤️📚🎓
Great way to end the year! NEDA year end awards banquet lots of good friends and lots of laughs🤣🤣 AG Dressage you are the best could have do e it without you #neda #dressage
A dear friend I made while inpatient sent me an awesome new affirmation card set. This is the first card I randomly pulled. The Universe is cheering me on. #edwarrior #anorexiarecovery #neda
Another great @nedadressage awards! Being my second time here I could not be prouder to bring home fourth place in first level with a 68, and reserve champion for the first level freestyle! Also finally got an awards cooler😂 Even better to spend this time with my favorite people! Can’t wait until next season!
#dressage #dressageawards #neda #yearendawards #lilyofchincoteague
I used to think that I'd be happy if I had a smaller body and met that goal weight.
But the smaller my body got, the smaller my life got.
And I was miserable. Sick all of the time, injury after injury, my thoughts completely consumed by food and excercise.
My body has changed a lot the last few years through recovering and pregnancy with my daughter.
I have no idea what I weigh, but I do know that whatever that number is, I'm pretty damn happy here.
And spontaneous icecream dates are the BEST. 🍦❤
I saw my GP today, and she’s not as convinced that the problem is an ulcer. She referring me for an upper endoscopy. It’s very frustrating, but today I’m grateful for providers who listen and care about me. She can’t make the pain go away instantaneously, but she can be show some compassion and reassure me she will get it figured out. In the meantime, I’m trying not to blame myself for this.
A super throwback to remind you that your weight does not determine your worth and you should probably destroy your scale. Calories aren’t the enemy, food is not the enemy, your body is not the enemy. .
Your disordered thoughts are the enemy. Diet culture is the enemy. These are the things that we should be fighting. We shouldn’t be fighting to get smaller - we should be fighting for our right to exist at whatever the hell size we happen to be at. You have so much more to offer than being the skinniest one in the room. You are powerful and strong and you are capable of MUCH more than “thin.” .
The moment I smashed my scale was a moment I will never forget. The battle had just begun but I felt like I could conquer the world - I wasn’t afraid of a stupid eating disorder, I was stronger. I went years without weighing myself and guess what 🤷🏻♀️ I didn’t die. I didn’t gain a million pounds. I just lived my life. Without a scale I was free from having to fit into my distorted idea of what I should weigh and allowed my body to find the weight it wanted to be at.
Your weight could not matter less in comparison to all that you have to offer the world. Don’t allow society or your mind to convince you that the best you can be is skinny.
It was such an honor to be asked to lead a yoga session before today’s #NEDAwalk2019 💚 And it meant the world to me to walk side by side with someone that holds a special place in my heart during my own eating disorder recovery journey 💚 Love you @april_r_golden - even tho my sign says ‘I’m don’t know her’ 🤣😆 #edrecoverywarrior #onedayatatime #neda #endthestigma
Yesterday, at a Chinese/Japanese Department event at my school, there were some snax. Last year I took one of the snacks, not intending to eat it, but after hella research and realizing it was basically a rice cake, I allowed myself to ~make room~ for it in my day. It was so good, though, that I proceeded to special order a pack of twelve off of Amazon and then binged on them when they arrived.
Yesterday, I grabbed three of the snacks rather than just one.. with the intention of ACTUALLY eating them.. what a concept. Immediately after the event I ate one and put the other two in my pocket. The second one I tried later that night, didn’t like it and gave it to my friend. The third one- the one that I was so completely obsessed with last year I FORGOT ABOUT HER. I legitimately left her in my pocket and am realizing right now that I don’t even know where she is. That-my friends- is crazy to me.
I guess this was just a little anecdote to show y’all who currently can think of nothing but food that it WILL get better. It will it will it will. But it won’t just happen.. you’ve gotta weight restore and give into extreme hunger and mental hunger and do all the super duper hard shit. Just because it’ll be hard doesn’t mean you can’t do it. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF DOING HARD THINGS.
#fuckdietculture #dietculturesucks #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bodyneutrality #celluLIT #loveyourself #edrecovery #neda #edawareness #anorexiawarrior #recoveryispossible #fuckketo #carbsarelife #carbs #foodisfuel #weightrestored #weightrestoration #weightgainiscool #nourishtoflourish #bethebiggerbully #eatittobeatit #challengerepeat
For the last several months, I’ve been wearing my NEDA symbol necklace. I never take it off so I never forget what I’m fighting for every day: recovery. A new life. A FULL life. Tonight at work, something told me to make my necklace visible to the customer I was ringing out. She looked at me and told me she liked my necklace. She knew what it was for. I could see the pain behind her eyes, because I imagine, she too, is fighting an eating disorder. I wear my necklace everywhere, not only as a symbol of my own recovery, but to show others that they can talk about it. “I have an eating disorder” is not a dirty phrase, but society treats it like it is. I’m not ashamed of the struggle that chose me, I don’t have to be. I didn’t ask for this. But I’m asking for recovery. I’m asking for a second chance at life. I’m working towards it, even in my weakest moments. I hope this post is just a reminder to you that you don’t need to be ashamed of your ED — it’s okay to talk about. It’s not a dirty word. It’s okay. You’re okay. 🧡 #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #neda
tomato, courgette & split pea soup with rye toast and an oat milk latte.. I’m in heaven 😍
if any of you need this reminder I’m going to say it again, although a simple statement: recovery is worth it. this wouldn’t be possible for me without recovery.
eating around people no. drinking coffee and eating at the same time no.
eating bread with my soup no. enjoying it NO.
having the energy to hike through the scottish highlands nah.
only through letting go of my eating disorder, opposite actions, learning to trust my body and explore new foods and face fears is this possible and it’s SO worth it. don’t give up, you are stronger than you know ❤️
so a lil update guys: I’M IN THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS 🍂🍂🍂
my friends and I decided to do a trip together and we got here yesterday!
it’s literally a dream come true, so surreal and beautiful and full of adventures. I’m so thankful to be here. ALSO we found the cutest little vegan cafe imma post a picture of our lovely food🖤🖤🖤
| 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘶𝘱 |
#todayi want to show you how easy it is to push past an injury. To push past pain but to remember that it is there to begin with.
Yesterday I deadlifted 200lbs, this is more than I have ever done. Today I squated weight that I was was doing pre-injury. With better form, more control and NO PAIN.
Today I showed up for myself and no one else.
There was a time where I didn’t show up for myself and wow I was missing out.
There was this part of my life where the only thing that mattered was how others thought of me. To that I say “think what you want, I know who I am and don’t need you to tell me other wise”
I built my business on the intentions of showing other men and woman how to believe in themselves and how if you stop letting the excuses get in the way you CAN DO ANYTHING you set your mind to!
I am so proud of my challenge girls for showing up for themselves and making strides to their own goals!
1) 95lb Squat
2) 135 lbs Squat 💥 pre injury
Wearing @ptulaactive stealth collection (small) *still available*
#fitnessgirl #fitnessmotivation #liveyourdream #sororityalum #rhodyalum #fitness #program #model #todayi #move #showup #noexcusesfitt #squat #blogger #newyork #newengland #holidays #ptulaactive #ptulafamily #ptulaninjas #neda #love