What is self- compassion Self- compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are struggling with something or dislike something about yourself. Instead of ignoring your pain, stop and tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” or “how can I care for myself in this moment”
I'm excited to be running another round of our Body Image group through The Eating Disorder Center!
Six week virtual coaching group, open to people worldwide via Zoom (video platform)! The dates: Thursdays, November 7-21st & December 5-19th, 2019
Time: 7:00-8:00 pm EST. Open to individuals age 18 and up.
Open to people of all bodies, this is a HAES informed group.
Cost: $75 per week.
Includes weekly homework & worksheets. Each session participants will have time to process, reflect, and learn new tools and coping skills
Head to www.theeatingdisordercenter.com to learn more
CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) is a widely used treatment for most mental health issues, but often I notice that we tend to focus more on THOUGHTS changing than BEHAVIORS, when we have to do both!
Let's do a quick CBT rundown:
1) Cognitive. Right now you are telling yourself a story about yourself that isn't serving you. We want to challenge that story and say something more kind, true and useful.
Now, you probably won't believe these thoughts rn and that's totally freakin' fine. Why would you believe them, when you've been reinforcing the opposite your entire life All that matters rn is that every time or most times that negative thought comes up, challenge it with a new thought. This builds new neural pathways for self-love and self-compassion, where right now the default is self-criticism and self-hate.
2) Behavioral: notice where you are acting in accordance with the old belief, and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. WOAH.
An example from my life: for a long time I have worked on challenging the belief that my needs aren't as important as other people's (still workin' on it!)
Cognitive challenge: my needs are just as important as anyone else's and I'm allowed to ask for what I need.
Behavioral change: notice times where I'm acting out of that belief and putting others' needs before mine One place I noticed this early on was when my order at restaurants came out wrong, I would just deal with it and not send it back...which *actually reinforced* the idea that my needs don't matter. So I created behavioral change, fueled by kinder thoughts, and practiced sending my order back when it was wrong. This way I was getting real time data from my external environment that it was okay for me to say that my needs matter (no one ever got upset with me), while also telling myself in my own mind that my needs were just as important as anyone else's.
Over time, this created (and is still creating) a new default, where the belief AND the behavior are changing. We have to work on both.
There is a lot ........................ of space on that couch and in that relationship
O amor, quando livre, desprende, liberta e voa junto!
We are complex beings, and yoga helps bring us face to face with that complexity ⚡️⠀
It’s often tempting to compare ourselves to others or to try to conform to a standard. However, yoga encourages us to turn inward, explore who we are, and accept ourselves exactly as we are 💓⠀
Our complexity is something to be celebrated 🙌🏽
〜 rest and reset 〜 What is your relationship to rest How do you hold it in your life What do you spend your rest time doing Are you at peace in your down time Do you keep yourself preoccupied in your down time Are you afraid of doing nothing Of being alone Are you constantly *trying* to relax but struggling to wind down
These questions are floating around my mind lately as we enter the coming winter months. The days become shorter. The air is colder. The earth produces a unique bounty of fruits and veggies for nourishing our bodies during the colder time of year. The seasons change and all these things take place so that we as animals will also shift our lifestyles.
In many parts of the country it is already starting to snow. Coldness tells us to stay indoors. To cook warming and nourishing foods. To warm our bodies next to fires, in hold baths, or in cozy clothing. It seems as though our planet wants us to rest and nourish during this time of year. It’s through this restoration that we are able to rejuvenate and take care of our bodies so that we have the energy to harvest when the days are longer. .
My question for you is; are you allowing your body to transition into a more restful season Are you still pushing yourself, hustling, trying to do it all without allowing your body to recoup and restore all the energy you’ve given out .
I ask these questions to get you thinking about what you *really* need right now in life. What is your body asking you for What signs and symptoms are popping up and what message do you think that are trying to communicate with you .
Write down the answer to these questions: What do you need What do you want What is stopping you from giving yourself what you most need What gets in the way
Photo and art by the amazing @westperro
Thoughts lead to feelings. Feelings lead to physical sensations. And all of the above lead to our behavior.
Increasing awareness of our thoughts helps us regulate feelings and behaviors from the root.
How is your thinking today
How could your thinking be more kind/accepting/accurate
To learn how to think more positively AND believe it, click the link in bio to read the blog.
A place to start:
What are you doing right today 💓
Our thoughts create feelings and those feelings create an action those actions create our reality. .
For instance, I see a cockroach walk by in front of me. My senses will perceive the cockroach and instantly pull from “my stored bank” (subconscious) of believes that I hold around cockroaches. 🦗🦗🦗
My belief around cockroaches is “They’re dangerous and being deadly diseases’.” .
This belief will trigger an automatic thought “roaches are disgusting and must be avoided at all cost.” This thought will trigger a feeling “disgusted, scared etc.” The feeling will then trigger an action “stomp on the roach or run for your life. All of this is done automatically on autopilot mode. .
This process is helpful for survival process but not so helpful when trying to consciously create our lives. .
However, In between the triggered thought and emotion (right before the action) there’s a time buffer. .
In that time buffer you get to choose again. Before you go into the action of stomping the roach you get to consciously choose again. .
This can be applied in every aspect of your life. Through repetition your new choice will then automatically become stored in your subconscious into a belief.
Here’s how it works: .
“You wake up and It’s raining and gloomy outside.” .
the wether is neutral it has no feelings or preferences it’s the meaning we assign to it that changes. .
There are two ways of looking at this example. .
1. My unconscious or default narrative would be: “Ugh what an ugly day, today is going to be awful.” .
👉🏼leading to negative feelings which will trigger your actions and dictate your day. As a result, your day goes to crap. .
2. Conscious thought or decision: it’s dark and raining out but I’m choosing to utilize this day to get all the paper work done I have been putting off. It’s going to be so productive today. .
👉🏼This conscious thought will lead to you feeling a sense of productivity which will lead to a ripple effect of you manifesting a productive day. .
It all starts with your thoughts. Shift your thinking and your life will shift as well. .
Comment below how you will choose again
What if your fantasy about your partner didn’t involve you, but someone else
So many people and couples come in [to my office] and say that this is something they're interested in.
I explored the topic further with @menshealthmag, “"Part of this is evolutionary biology. It's very 'he's mine, she's mine.' Possessiveness is all about procreation. When we challenge that and get to feel that jealousy, there's a tinge of eroticism to it. We can't discount the power of voyeurism. This is why porn does so well. We love to watch other people have sex."
What are your thoughts on this👇
📷: Gorodenkoff / Getty Images
If you are a provider in the healthcare field and work with pregnant women and families you don’t want to miss this comprehensive training from experts in the area of maternal child. The #postpartumsupportinternational Perinatal Mood Disorders: Components of Care Certificate and Certification Training is coming to #sandiego #southerncalifornia Calling all #doctor #nurses #doula #psychotherapist #socialworker who work in #postpartum #pregnancy. This a must attend training!!! Hope to see you there link: http://www.cvent.com/events/psi-s-perinatal-mood-disorders-components-of-care/event-summary-6563d738f10e40178f59ce615af4c184.aspx
Looking for an individual or relational therapist Here I am! I support individuals in a variety of areas that include but are not limited to:
Atypical Sexual Desires
Grief & Loss
Sexual Abuse & Trauma
LGBTQAI+ Couples Therapy
Trauma & Relationships
Mismatched Sex Drive
Lack of Desire
Non-traditional Relationship Roles
You know what helps with a case of the Burnout Mondays
Some good old gratitude practice.
This morning I asked my 2 year old son to tell me 3 things he's grateful for. He over delivered as usual. 🙂
He said "food, toys, fruit and mommy." So what are you thankful for today
LAST CHANCE - THIS WEEKEND! An American is sexually assaulted every 92 seconds. If you work in mental health, do you know how to help them when they come to you There are many special considerations for working with survivors. I'll be co-facilitating a training Oct 18-20 on essential clinical skills. More info: learntohelpsurvivors.com
Pause for a moment and reflect on these words <3⠀
Everything is waiting for you ~ David Whyte⠀
Your great mistake is to act the drama as if you were alone.⠀
As if life were a progressive and cunning crime with no witness to the tiny hidden transgressions.⠀
To feel abandoned is to deny the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely, even you, at times, have felt the grand array; the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding out your solo voice.⠀
You must note the way the soap dish enables you, or the window latch grants you freedom. Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.⠀
The stairs are your mentor of things to come, the doors have always been there to frighten you and invite you, and the tiny speaker in the phone is your dream-ladder to divinity.⠀
Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the conversation.⠀
The kettle is singing even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots have left their arrogant aloofness and seen the good in you at last.⠀
All the birds and creatures of the world are unutterably themselves.⠀
Everything is waiting for you.⠀
What an awesome Health and Wellness conference I got to be apart of ..... I spoke on Self Care & Awareness. I learned and network with some amazing people. If you missed today conference you missed a treat but @beveganish has a free Sunday Funday going on today with some amazing vendors and food trucks. #mentalhealth #blacktherapist #self-care #psychotherapist #wynne_associatescounseling