It’s you, me, and a “little wishie”✨ ••I had 2 and a half years of NO time with just me and this girl, she started daycare at 13 months old (which I know I am SO blessed to have had that first year with her, but then I worked 7 days a week) and I worked two jobs and 55+ hours a week. The days I did have off I shared with her father and transported the girls to visit with him, supervised, and returned which took half of our day together.
••My hours were cut a few months ago and it was looking like I’d have to get another job, or pickup more hours at my other job-
But thanks to this business, here I am enjoying days OFF with my baby girl 👐🏼
••I cried when I took this this morning.. she still has such a baby look about her..
I cannot believe she is 3, now. I wish I could freeze time and go back and get to enjoy so much more of it but I have promised us both from here on I will be there the most I can be.
••I’ve made up all of the money from working 2 days less PER WEEK from joining and doing social networking 😏👏🏼🏃🏽♀️
••And you can tell in how close Karsyn is to me, again. Just in the last few months we have grown so much together 😩❤️❤️❤️
Healing is a process of many facets, layers and stages. It is never easy, in fact, it’s not meant to be. Allow yourself to feel, understand and rationalise every emotion. Your trauma is valid and so is your healing. 🙏🏽✨💫
My view right now. And yes, it is the middle of the week and yes, she is my bed.
We try to have a rule: not sleeping in mummy’s bed during the week. But rules are made to be broken right Or is it just a silly old saying people tell when they can’t be consistant
Either way, she is not in her bed and she didn’t even ask.
Yesterday, in my 4 years of motherhood I’ve never experienced the tantrum she threw. In four years she tried to slap me, she did scream, she did threw herself on the floor but never all at the same time and at yesterday’s level. It was intense. We had only 30 minutes together from the moment I picked her up to bedtime. She asked to have a bottle with water and honey in it (her “tea/coffee as she says). I only said no because we had time for a snack before bed and we needed to get ready to say good night. Our soft cuddle turned into a rage. Our 30 precious minutes turned into a very loud 45 minutes nightmare. I don’t know how I kept my calm and how I didn’t shout or scream or locked her in her bedroom but I did keep my cool. I refused to let her fall asleep crying and alone so let her fall asleep while I hugged her very tight in her bed.
Leelou is going through stuff in her very young life. Personal stuff. My tiny skinny beautiful sweet 4-year-old is the most sensitive person I have ever met and I think she doesn’t know how to deal with these emotions. Happy/sad, excited/nervous... this new parenting thing is harder on her than I thought so tonight I picked her up early and ordered some food so I didn’t have to cook. I stayed in the bathroom while she played in the bath and we had dinner together watching “bideos” on YouTube. We read a book in my bed and we hugged until she fell asleep. It was soft, calm, tender. Just like she is. It made me feel better to do this tonight because I knew we needed this to forget yesterday. Motherhood isn’t easy but it is rewarding so many times in so many ways. Her soft lips next to me are my reward today. Her daily “I love you so much mommy” tomorrow will be my reward. So many little things always make up for the hard times. Yesterday was a freaking hard time but it passed.