Every day I sit down to the page. It isn't always blank, but sometimes it is. Sometimes when I sit down it seems as though I'm from a different era... the time before the written language--that's how difficult it can be to form words. Other times though, I'm like a burbling fountain and it seems as though the words will never stop coming and I race frantically after them, trying to bottle them all up.
Behind the scenes I'm alternately dreaming of seeing my name in bookstores and wondering why I ever decided to pick up a pen in the first place. My opera teacher told me that you have to walk into an audition both expecting and not expecting to get the role. This is like that. I have to write believing that I am doing the best work that I can while never forgetting that despite it all, I might be (will be) rejected.
I guess all of life is like this. We find it so easy to look down on ourselves, but in reality we are complex creatures capable of feeling so many things at once. It's incredible. The mind is incredible.
When I was younger, I was in a job where one of my bosses sexually harassed me. They would say things that made me highly uncomfortable, and were very clear that they found me sexually desirable. I reported it to the owner and his response was, “He’s old school and that’s just how men are. Don’t worry, he’s harmless.” It made me sick that every attempt I made with regards to reporting him was brushed off as if I was supposed to tolerate it, because I was a woman and that’s what men do.
I’m so happy to hear that the asshole by the name of Harvey Weinstein was convicted of rape and criminal sexual act. For too long men with power have gotten away with doing horrible things to innocent women. Yes, horrible things are still happening, but we need to concentrate on this victory.
This victory is a statement from all women that says “no more.” It helps assholes like him think twice before abusing their power. It helps give courage to women who have been abused and encourages them to stand up.
We will not be treated like sexual objects created for pleasure. We are women and we are not going to take this shit anymore.
010 / 012 ; 无 耐 ⠀⠀
// a drifted daze ;
Sprawled books shielding days of insomnia,
with drizzling sleepiness unraveling beneath covers
Jailed imprisonment in an open land,
where she chose to stay and lay.
encircling thoughts washed upon her tiresome gaze,
keeping her mind running tiredly,
as her same mindless routine drifted further into a new day.