Two weeks ago I got an aura portrait taken of me, followed by a reading that brought me to tears. And maybe aura readings are all woo woo, or maybe they are truth. Either way it was what I needed to hear in that moment, and the words made their way to me in the form of colors on a Polaroid. As I sat in a small black tent I immediately became nervous about the picture. Not in fear of the results, but anxious about the simple gesture of taking my glasses off. I’ve always been uncomfortable bare faced around strangers, a side effect of being bullied as a child. Fear crept up my conscious as the photo developed, ready to attach shame to my silhouette. Waiting to see a picture sometimes feels like waiting for news. You want it too be good, but something deep inside has convinced you it will be devastating. A tangible reminder of your flaws. When I turned the photo over my stomach dropped but only because I felt beautiful. A feeling of appreciation for myself that didn’t have to be forced. Brought to me by an image taken by a stranger in a little black tent. And since then I’ve continued to share my bare face with the world unapologetically.
I’m sharing this video with y’all because I hated it. After spending the time to put together what I thought would be a fun fashion video, I began to notice all of the little mistakes I made along the way. Suddenly, not only did I hate the editing, but I hated my outfit choices as well. Then I hated the way my ears poked out in front of my hair. I picked apart my smile and the styling of my braids. And why wouldn’t I get rid of the PJ mask tattoo my nephew gave me The longer I watched the more I pulled apart something I took the time to put together. Turning a creative outlet into a portal for pessimism. Ignoring my own efforts and diminished them down to a flawed attempt. Why does this destructive outlook show itself when it comes to social media Especially when we know that perfection is not only subjective but also unnecessary! Often, in attempt to break through that mindset I share things that I don’t think are great. So here’s a video that hopefully will remind people (myself included) that you’re free to post whatever the hell you want, flaws and all!