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seher by @seher 19849 days ago via Instagram

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you can. i gotta keep telling myself..yesterday, i turned 36 and took a stroll around the city as i have over my last few birthdays. people watching, practicing mindfulness, popping into shops, and eating some great food along the way. the simple things that allow presence and gratitude fill me up..after a beautiful lunch honoring south asian women, i walked into the lush and wonderfully curated rizzoli bookstore. almost immediately, i became emotional; all the books were people’s stories and hearts all around me— all the labor, love, tenderness, pain, fervor, triumph, quirks and imperfections of all these human journeys. all these individual truths laid out to be witnessed..it felt sacred. i found my fingertips grazing the covers, soaking in the simple profundity of this recognition and reality; wanting to intentionally sit and be with all that was in front of me..one of the first titles i stopped to pick up was ‘dark money’ by jane mayer— a book that had been recommended to me about a year ago when canvassing for the midterm elections. it’s about how a few billionaire families have been puppeteering american politics and what we should know + perhaps do about it. that shit heavy..as i was putting that book down, a guy walked up and reached around me to drop back a book he had been browsing— ‘homo deus’ by yuval noah harari, a renowned oxford educated historian. harari’s titles had also been recommend to me, one of which happens to be the top book reco of mark zuckerberg and bill gates. ‘homo deus,’ which postulates on the future of humanity, is the second in a triology— first is ‘sapiens,’ a history of humanity, and third is ‘21 lessons for the 21st century,’ a prescription for moving forward in light of the dystopia harari predicts and maps out in ‘homo deus.’ based off the book jacket, let’s just say that the future feels awful bleak and inhuman..i felt myself buzzing and lightheaded, hoping to take flight outside of my body somewhere— a place where i didn’t need to make sense of things..(1/3 | continued in comments)tell the truth. my carpal tunnel type hand and arm cramps kicked back in recently for the first time in a few years. it forced me to use my phone and social media less than the excessive amounts i normally do..even though my hand aches quite a bit at times, i am grateful for the message of the pain. i’m grateful for even a semi-break— better than none at all..what a fucking relief. the shift in my mood and energy any time i temper my phone and/or social media use is wild..social media and mobile phone addiction is real. over the last couple years, it’s really come through for me as a disruptive and troubling force. still sorting/not sorting/probably avoiding this whole thing..that’s my truth to share of late. what would you like to tell the truth about? if you feel called, i encourage you to bring your truth into this space as well as into your material world life, and let the load off. others may well need to hear it, including me <3note to self. thank you:.- for sticking around when it gets tough- for being nice to me even when you hate me- for fighting for me- for trying- for telling me to shut up when i need to- for letting me be imperfect- for knowing my heart- for that glimmer of hope anytime it gets dark, which can be often- for being silly with me- for the great conversation- for not staying mad at me for too long, you know i’m sensitive- for the dance parties- for loving me, even when i don’t understand why- for being my best friendlove you love you love you.let’s remember to recognize ourselves more often for how we are showing up for ourselves.you are alive and breathing. for everything you think you’re not doing, there is something you *are* doing. don’t you dare not give yourself credit. the mundane is significant. perhaps the most significant.please take this as an invitation to share how *you* are thanking *you*. i would love to know and celebrate alongside <3<3 // and i love you still.tajah in kensington.whose anxiety has been on 12,000 over 2018 + 2019? i’ll often get overwhelming waves of full body or full head buzzing, chaotic energy. it’s incredibly destabilizing and at times debilitating. sometimes it’ll also make me sad because it feels like so much..it can be challenging to distinguish if it’s coming from me, the collective, the universal energetic shifts, some other shit, or a little bit of everything. and trying to make that discernment amidst the frenetic overwhelm is its own feat..i know it’s in my own hands to do my practices more, both from a preventative and diagnostic standpoint. in many ways, i know what to do and i don’t— that’s a discussion for another time..all said, i’m curious to hear from you. how have you been relating to anxiety, spirituality, metaphysics, and the wild energies of the last couple years? what are your favorite anxiety prevention + relief tools? we can never have too many :).much love <3<3 // mind them carefully.luar for cfda.there is so much i can say when i don’t say. do you hear me? i said nothing nothing nothing. it was something. did you hear it? silence. could you feel it or did you turn the other way because it made you uncomfortable? i am speaking to you. i am here. do you see me even when you do not see me? because i see you. heaving.<3 // letting it die, making space for the new.for man repeller on 35mm.there is no one like you in the world. not everyone will understand you. sometimes, you won’t understand yourself. you will be loved. you will be left. you will feel despair. and hope. sometimes simultaneously. you will beat your fists against the wall and hear nothing. you will lie there sometimes, lifeless. you will rise and begin on a path unknown. you will meet travelers. some will betray you. others will show you your light. you are not alone but you do inhabit this body alone. do you love it? how does it make you feel? remember that you are all it’s got.<3 // see. feel. listen. we already know.mariquel for hickiesa few weeks ago, a book titled ‘the courage to be disliked’ sprang up on a facebook ad for me. i was so moved by just the title alone, that i posted it to my instagram stories immediately.the message became louder and louder over the course of that day and the days that followed. signs appeared on my path in an uncannily steady stream:1- a few hours later, a friend with some extra audible credits made an offer to gift some folks an audio book of their choice. i looked up the top 10 audible books, which happened to include brené brown’s ‘dare to lead.’ i reviewed her other recent titles and came across ‘braving the wilderness.’ the premise: “belonging” by belonging to yourself first— especially when it means sometimes standing alone in order to fully rest in your truth. naturally, i knew which title i was supposed to request.2- that evening, an article on arundhati roy came up on my facebook feed. the article was titled as a direct quote from roy: ‘the point of a writer is to be unpopular’3- late that night / the following morning, i ended up in an interaction that prompted me posting a series of instagram stories about boundaries when people want access to your contacts and/or resources. this is a topic i’d been dragging my feet to speak on for a year in fear of anyone feeling offended, singled out, or triggered. sharing these thoughts definitely required channeling my personal courage to be disliked. interestingly enough, these posts ended up being some of my most popular posts on stories— by far. they also potentially resulted in some unfollows. i talked about this topic in the caption of my last feed post if you’d like to read more.4- that afternoon, while searching for something unrelated in a facebook group, i came across ‘the courage to be disliked’ once again— this time, as part of a recommendation someone was making. casual..(continued in comments | 1/2)<3
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